A new Vibrator! This one says it's waaay better than any others you've tried The Revel Body Sonic Vibrator uses 'TrueSonic' technology, whatever the hell that is, and it looks like a spinning razor ball that apparently is 'discreet enough to sit on your nightstand'. Sure.
"Hey honey, what's that"
"Oh hey Dad, that's my new study aid, I just place it on my head for 30 seconds before each session, flick the switch, and it improves my cognitive function by 63%!"
"Wow!"
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Cue walking in on Dad with it on his head trying to do the Irish Times crossword.
