The 10 Personas You Adopt On A Girls Night Out

Nights out seem kind of random, but they're not. After intense intellectual discussion* we have evaluated that upon the average night out you shall take on 10 different personas as follows:

The Reluctant

In life there is always something that's technically more 'important' to do than go drinking. College work will mount up, grannies need to be visited, rooms need to be cleaned and money saved but in all honesty that's always going to be the way. The text comes in, another student night.. Of course.

You try to resist and immediately step into the persona of the reluctant… You may stay here up to an hour.

Your arm is twisted and you step into the next persona.

The I Have No Clothes Moan

Staring at your wardrobe and the piles of clothes it becomes clear to you, you actually have nothing to wear. It all get's depressing. Black dress, fine, tights with a hole in them, they will have to do, massive platform wedges….obviously

The Make Up Artist

To be fair anyone can contour, if they have the 7 hours or so you have dedicated to watching contouring videos online. It's all about the blending.. Blending can take several hours… It does this time..

The XFactor Contestant

Downed a naggin in Michelle's, hopped onto the bus, en route to Stephen's Green the vodka is doing it's work. You all start to sing.This is a talent you didn't know you had. If no one minds, you are quite impressed.. Strangely the other passengers don't seem to appreciate.

The Ringleader

Katie is still talking to the bus driver, Michelle is chatting up the bouncers trying to get free in and Amanda is already crying on her phone talking to Paul. Same old same old. You wolf-whistle to Amanda while pulling Katie physically off the bus quite forcefully. Glide up by Michelle pushing the girls in ahead of you. Where would they be without you? Wandering around aimlessly no doubt. Dust off your hands once in and make your way to the bar.

The Forceful Drinker

The thing with pre-drinks happening so early and the bus taking so long is that you sober up. Suddenly you are starting to feel kind of normal. This is not what you want. To the bar. Shots for €3, grand you'll have 3. Quickly down them and you are back in the saddle.

The Comedian

Everything you say is so funny. You are such a dark horse keeping all this humorous, witty charm hidden beneath the surface. You should drink every day.. you really should. You are truly hilarious!

The One Who Should Have Been On Strictly

Powered up by your naggin of vodka and 3 shots later you own the night. The music is pulsing through you.. You are hearing the beat in a way that makes you want to move.. The dance floor calls you. You reach there with the girl posse. At first it's just bopping about but then you begin to take it all sorts of serious. The girls scatter… you don't care, it's just you and the music.

Gagging For It Glenda

It's 2.45.. you haven't got the score.. times are tough. You could just go home, but that would be far too boring. You spot some guy looking equally lonely. You prowl up to him. It's all about saying casual stuff, 'Can I just hang out with you until my mates come back?' He's no fool. He can read between the lines. You both know what's going on here. 'No problem' he says. You're in.

The Hunger Games Contestant

So you've got the score, but you pull back and realize he's a bit of a minger. You really don't want to pursue this.. The pressure of actually 'getting' the score is gone now and reality creeps back in. You Are Starving. Where are the girls? They all seem to have completely disappeared. You see Amanda. She's crying. You act like you are consoling her but actually she's just company as you make your way to McDonalds. She cries the whole way there. You pretend to listen all the while calculating how much food can you get for €3.42. If you can scab 58 cents off Amanada you can get 6 chicken nuggets and a curly fries. She won't mind. She's balling now.