28 Things Not To Do On A First Date

First dates are awkward and if you have a first date on Valentine's Day - good luck to you. The first date is a time where you are aware of all of your actions and will pretty much be anything but yourself. You will also tend to prepare questions to ask your date, in your head, before your date has even finished talking, just so there is no awkward silences. There is no natural rhythm to this God foresaken hell you are experiencing. And, oh wait, you have both spent so much energy focusing on what not to do, that the things you thought you had no need to control have gone awry. If you are about to go on a first date, or you cringe at the thought of your last one, sit back and read this list of 28 Things Not To Do On A First Date.

1) Reveal the Facebook stalker within

The "oh ye I saw that on your Facebook" is way too soon. This will freak your date out and show you as a true stalker.

2) Talk about your exes

Everyone has exes but there is no need to go on and on about them. Jealousy is no basis for a relationship.

3) Order too lightly

I know chicken wings and ribs are hardly the safest choice for a first date, but ordering too little can be just as bad. You will be starving after and it will all be very suspicious.

4) Text constantly

It's rude. Your date will feel left out. It just isn't nice.

5) Use your hands for things you shouldn't

It's your first date so eating with your hands, doing the food 5 second rule and picking up something off the floor without washing your hands straight after will not come across nicely.

6) Bodily malfunctions

I don't really need to explain this one, but dear lord keep it in. Burping and farting will guarantee you no second date.

7) Being rude to staff members

Being rude to waiters or waitresses is not on. You come across as aggressive, disrespectful and in no way dating material.

8) Flirting with staff members

If you flirt with a member of staff on a date, an alert sign will immediately appear over your head reading: "This person can't keep their piece in their pants."

9) Drift off

Pay attention to your date. If not, at least pretend you are paying attention.

10) Say something cringey

Jokes are fine, but just don't get so carried away that you keep going and going. And, don't say things that you blatantly know your date won't enjoy.

11) Sneezing without covering your nose

If you sneeze without covering your nose at a date with drink and food, you might as well have signed your death wish. There is no coming back from this. Use a tissue.

12) Saying you have scored their friends

There is no need to reveal this information on the first date. All your date will be thinking of now is their friend scoring you.

13) Going on about how hot someone else is

Even though Michelle Keegan is the ultimate women and Ryan Gosling is gorgeous, there is no need to shite on about them for 20 mins.

14) Saying their friends are hot

This is even worse territory. If you go on about how hot their friends are and, I mean, go on and on about them. You're in for a rude awakening.

15) Fly open

Just watch yourself, really.

16) Being sloppy

Clean clothes are essential. Make somewhat of an effort and you won't fail colossally.

17) Being late

Be on time. That's all a first date can ask for.

18) Saying the wrong name

Come on now. You should know this.

19) Arrive drunk

This should be fairly obvious. There is nothing worse than someone being drunk when you're not.

20) Not asking if they mind you smoking

It's common courtesy really. Ask if it's okay before you light up.

21) Eating garlic or onions

Just avoid these in case you end the night with a romantic kiss.

22) Ordering messy foods

It's your own choice really. Just remember, if you order something messy, chew with your mouth closed.

23) Getting carried away

Subtle signs that you like what you see is okay..

But don't take it too far...

24) Expecting one person to pay

Both should pay for the meal evenly. The girl should not immediately assume the guy should pay. And the guy, who conveniently forgot his wallet, shouldn't expect the girl to either.