The Gentleman's Summer Checklist

Fellas, it's time to start preparing yourself for the Summer. If we hit another one like last year then mid May is right on schedule to start the preparations.

1. A Good Pair Of Shorts

First of all, do you even have one? Do they still sit you? You might have put on a few pounds over the year, maybe a bit of comfort eating through the exams. That's okay, no one is judging you roly poly. Now is the time to buy a nice pair of shorts, fuck it, maybe even two. Like us, girls love legs. A nice pair of calves and you're in. Go shopping and invest, even if you get 5 wears out of them, they'll be worth it.

2. A Pair Of Sun Glasses

Don’t be the guy who's asking to borrow your mates shades or who spends the day in the park squinting and giving yourself a headache. Go into and H&M or Zara or even Pennys and try a few on. Yes, you will look stupid in the shop, but bring a friend - preferably a female one. They know what looks good in fairness.

3. A Pair Of Summer Shoes

There's really nothing worse then seeing a guy walking through the park or on a beach wearing a nice t-shirt, a good pair of aforementioned shorts, only to look down and see an old pair of gym runners. Honestly, what the hell. Get a nice pair of Summer shoes, there's literally shit loads around at the moment. Toms make guy's legs look good (or so my female friends tell me), so pick up a pair. It's for a good cause Dammit.

4. Tickets For An Outdoor Gig

Just buy them now so you’re locked in. It’s too easy to let the months slip by and end up never going. If you let a whole summer go by without having an outdoor event to go to you'll kick yourself while all your friends pre drinks in someones garden on the hottest day of the year.
Put out the feelers and see who's going to which one. You're better off picking the crowd over the music in my opinion, live music is awesome but at the end of the day it's the friends your with who are gona make or break it.

5. Get Your Music In Order

Everyone has a music playlist, and if you don't then what the hell do you do when you're on the bus? Seek out some new Summer songs or some old ones even. Why not shtick a bit of 'California Dreaming' or some vintage Bryan Adams on that playlist. When you're at an after party and it's getting bright at 5am and everyone is fucking sick of listening to Kanye West or whatever that idiot in the corner keeps putting on, they will welcome your old favourites. Because who doesn't love standing on a table and singing Summer of 69?

6. A Decent Body

There’s still time to drop five or 10 pounds and tone up if you start now. Don’t worry about what Men’s Health says or start “thinking about joining a gym.” If it’s not already part of your routine to go to CrossFit or yoga or whatever, you aren’t going to do it at this point. Here’s a simple routine:

• 100 Pushups per day.

• 100 crunches or leg raises per day.

• Three times a week, do a half hour of cardio.

Also, stop eating shit for a month. Stop eating frozen pizza. Stop eating fast food. Eat cans of tuna, turkey, or cut avocados in half and put Lawry’s on that shit and eat ‘em like pudding cups. Eat some fucking strawberries and vegetables. Stop eating crisps. You wanna get hammered? Drink vodka with ice (or vodka with sparkling water if you’re a teenage girl). Go back to your normal drinking preferences after you’ve seen some results.

It’s not that hard. Don’t want to do those things? Fine, lazy ass. Look like shit. Wear your T-shirt in the sea. Yeah no really, it's covering everything up...

7. Your Towel

Get a proper beach towel for the sand or the pool. Don’t just grab your bath towel off the rack in your bathroom like some scumbag. That faded grayish blue piece of shit with bleach stains on it? Terrible. "Oh you're cold? Here, I have a nice warm towel for you to wrap up in" Bingo.

8. A Relationship

Do you want to have a “couples” summer by continuing a relationship that could possibly end in early September, leaving you regretting all the summertime action you could have had? Do you want to risk cheating on your significant other because some amazingly hot girl in a pair of cut off shorts and a tank top tugs at your (new) sexy shorts?

But, if you think she’s the one, enjoy all your picnics and trips to her parents’ house and that kind of shit you’re going to have to do while everyone else collects three months of amazing stories you missed out on. That’s cool. Just remember to have fun and that your friends probably don’t miss you at all.