Being single is tough. Yes, now is technically the best time in all of history to be a single woman, but sometimes, all you want is a little lovin'. For the most part being single can be one of the best things ever, but of course there are some negatives. Here are the things that only the single ladies among you, could possibly understand.
1) Grooming Is An Option Not A Necessity
So you haven't bought a packet of razors since June 2013 and your legs are crying out to be mowed? Meh. Maybe later. Who'll see them anyway?
2) Periods Are An Inconvenience Not A Reassurance
Ok so they're never exactly welcomed with opened arms and a hug, but when you're loved up, the pain is somewhat masked by the overwhelming relief that you're not pregnant. Whereas when you've been sleeping with nobody except your onesie, they just serve to remind you that being a girl is a painful, messy inconvenience sometimes.
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3) Fat Days Are Our Equivalent Of Dates
Whilst our love struck sisters are prepping themselves for another sexy Saturday night of flirting and fun, we'll be prepping ourselves for a fat pants, make up free, dominoes filled, laptop marathon. Our choice of film has to be carefully monitored though. Anything overly sappy, relating to being forever alone or relating to a spinster are out.
4) Valentines Day Needs To Fuck Off
A day celebrating love and all that shit, is never going to be our thing. Honestly, it's like being starved for two months and then being brought shopping in a sweet shop with a strict no taste policy. Here's one piece of advice. Do not go on a sad, girls on the pull night out on Feburary the 14th. It's not a pretty sight out there and all of the 'lads' know that vulnerable, drunk, crying girls make the easiest prey of all.
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5) Friends Insist On Setting You Up
Someone always knows a man that'd be just 'perfect' for you. You've since learned however, that someone else's idea of perfect is pretty much your idea of hell, all encased into one awkward, drunk man form. No matter how many times you tell your friends that you are in fact happy to be single, they will still insist on setting you up with the most inappropriate, unattractive males they can find. Just grin and bare it.
6) Your Girlfriends Are Everything
With no male distractions, your female friends will be your everything. Sadly, we've all lost friends to the boyfriend curse, so treasure the single ones now, before they disappear forever. Who else could you wear a face mask, pluck your eyebrows and fart in front of, after all.
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7) Over-Analyzing Texts Is Totally Normal
Most single girls have a man or two on text tap. It keeps the severe boredom from setting in on those long winter nights. It's all a clever and cunning mind war, where the time between texts is the name of the game and exclamation marks, combined with x's means one thing and one thing only. Possible future action.
8) Your Parents Secretly Suspect You're A Lesbian
You must remember that at your age, your parents were probably married, had three kids and a mortgage. You, well you've just paid your own rent for the first time, own three boxes of Corn Flakes and have 'technically' had a relationship. The fact that it lasted for five weeks is beside the point. As it stands right now, you've never so much as mentioned a man to them, meaning they immediately presume you play for the other team. Jumping the gun perhaps?
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9) Every Event Is A Pulling Opportunity
As a single lady, you may treat every outing as a pulling mission. You may as well. Play the field while you're still fit and able. That said, there are some nights when all you'll feel like doing is drinking cheap cocktails and dancing your little heart out with your best girlfriends and that's more than okay too.
10) The Sight Of Couples Holiday Pictures Makes You Gag
It's not that we're bitter, it's just that if we have to scroll through Facebook one more time and witness 'Joanne' add another 45 pictures to the album 'Summer Hols 2014,' we may scream. Not because her holiday looks amazing you see, more the fact the Joanne's album consists of varying shots of her, then her boyfriend, then her, then her boyfriend, then, well, you get the point. She must be stopped.
11) Befriending Men Is Seen As An Agenda
As a single girl, merely holding a conversation a man, can be seen as something much more. Every man must automatically presume that you're up for it, that you're flirting and fancy the pants off him when really, all you want to know is how many single friends he has. That and some platonic, male advice on males.
