College is a big milestone in a person's life. It's a chance to attain a degree, give yourself the opportunity to ignite a great career, make lifelong friends, and do it all while going out and having a hell of a time for those few years. Here are 17 things that only college students will understand.
17) The ultimate procrastinator you've now become.
You don't remember being this big of a procrastinator before. There was certainly no way you could get away with it in school, but college is such a different story. Who'd have thought you could pass each college semester by fucking around for 4 whole months, and then knuckling down for the last 7 days before your assignments or exams?! Procrastination is a skill, I don't care what anyone says.
16) Feeling like a boss in your awesome suit/dress at your college ball.
One thing that college does well, is parties. The end of year ball is the biggest party of the year and you look absolutely fantastic, which makes it even better.
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15) Watching your first Iron Stomach contest.
This is what college is all about, isn't it? 5 students eating the worst "food" known to man in an effort to prevent the inevitable outburst of projectile vomit, all in an attempt to win an all-expenses paid trip to the college ball. The word "food" is used very loosely.
14) Drinking in the SU (Student Union) and hiding from lectures.
Sometimes the thought of sitting through another social policy lecture is just too much, and you choose to have a beer instead. I said sometimes, but I meant most of the time...
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13) Your Monday 9am lecture is the emptiest room on campus.
What genius had the idea to schedule a double lecture at 9am on a Monday morning? These our 18-22 year old students (dominantly) that we are talking about. Trying to get up at 8am on a Monday morning after a full weekend of drunken debauchery is like Jesus being resurrected from the dead after 3 days - NOT going to happen! Oh, wait...
12) Joining hundreds of clubs and socs, then never going to any events.
It happens every year. Your college's clubs and socs appear on campus, signing up students for one whole week. You join banter soc, video game club, creeping on girls soc and ultimate frisby soc, then never show up to any of their events.
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11) That time you walked into the wrong lecture without realising.
You remember? You walked all the way in, took out your books and the lecture began, but when you realised you were in the wrong place you were too afraid to leave. Sitting through a double lecture that has absolutely nothing to do with your course, and missing your own lecture in the process just to save yourself the massive embarrassment of edging past 20 people and scooting out the door with everyone looking at you.
10) To you, simply BEING in the college library is considered "work."
You sit in the library daydreaming, trawling through Facebook and watching episodes of Breaking Bad with your earphones in, then leave the library with an undeserved sense of accomplishment and fooling yourself into thinking you're getting things done.
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9) Hooking up with a classmate never, ever ends well.
It feels like a great idea at the time. You're drunk at a college party, and you make a move on your classmate who you've had a crush on. After a few too many tequila shots, one thing leads to another and you end up in bed together. Your next class together is going to be an awkward encounter, and what's worse, EVERYBODY in your class is talking about it.
8) Copy & Paste are your two best friends.
In your graduation ceremony, or in the foreword of your thesis, don't forget to mention the two beautiful things that ultimately won you your degree - copy & paste. God bless contemporary technology. Can you imagine trying to get your degree 20 years ago with no computers, internet or copy & paste? The horror!
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7) The sheer panic you experience when your assignment deadline date approaches.
It's almost unbearable. You've pissed away hours of potential studying and writing time and now you're left with the momentous task of writing 2,500 words, worthy of at least 40%, in under 3 days. Get the coffee, Red Bull and energy tablets. Procrastination at its finest.
6) Forcing yourself to stay awake during a lecture.
You arrive into a double political communications lecture hungover to shreds and quickly learn that it was a bad idea. You can feel your eyelids slowly dropping. You try everything in your power to resist but it's like two anvils are sitting on top of them. You can't fight it. Konk! Next thing you know your lecturer is waking you up in front of the whole class and you struggle to wipe the drool from your face.
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5) The sickening feeling you get when you find out you have repeats.
It's among the worst feelings any college student can experience. You hope to scrape by and earn yourself a whole uninterrupted summer without worrying, but you open your results and see that gut-wrenching word: FAIL!
4) Those 3 lovely words: "Pass By Compensation."
There's is no better feeling than passing a module that even you know, you had absolutely no right in passing. You did zero work, crammed last-minute and hoped that everything would work out. 90% of the time you do this, it doesn't. But when it does and you see those delicious words "pass by compensation" you feel over the moon!
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3) That irritating mature student in your lectures.
You know the one we're talking about. They ask a million questions every lecture, waste the lecture's time and yours, look down on all the young students in a judgmental, snotty-nosed manner and bitch about the course every other week.
2) Rag Week is the college party equivalent of the Apocalypse.
Rag Week is insane. There is simply no other word to describe it. Alcohol is drank like water, fingers are dropped, clothes are removed, and streets are littered with puke. For everyone not participating in Rag Week, we can see why it could maybe, possibly, sometimes be like hell on Earth.
1) Your time in college flies by incredibly quick.
3 or 4 years seems to fly by with the click of a finger, so make the most of it! Next thing you know you'll be sitting in an old mahogany rocking chair, tucking your grandson into his hover-bed and telling him bedtime stories from when you were young.
