Life

Pillow Fights And Boob Massages: Sh!t Girls Do When Guys Aren't Around

So we don't have pillow fights or give each other massages in our underwear, sorry to disappoint. Here's some of the stuff we actually do.

Check out other girls

Girls do this in front of guys as well, but when girls are hanging out with girls and a hot lady walks by, you can be sure that one or all of them will acknowledge her hotness. It might be her coat, her hair, her perfume... whatever it is - it won't go unnoticed.

Don't wear a bra

I'm not sure if you guys are fully aware of exactly how uncomfortable wearing a bra is. Imagine if you had to wear a jock strap every time you left the house. That's why most of the time when we girls get inside and we are alone, the first thing we do is take it off.

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Skip Showers

Look, in general we smell better than boys. It's just science! We also have so many products to help us look and smell nice, sometimes we can get away with skipping the odd shower. Men don't seem to realise the effort that has to go into washing your hair, plus the fact that it's a big wet mop on top of your head which is freeeezing! What did you think dry shampoo was for?

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Eat

You know you've gotten to a comfortable part of a relationship when you have no problem ordering the whole basket of chicken wings, plus chips, plus nachos and asking your boyfriend what he wants. When girls get together, they can chow down, and it really is a sight to see.

Talk Sex

"Did you tell the lads what we did last night?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! That is OUR private business"

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Yeah, girls might get angry at the thought of their fuck buddy/boyfriend/partner talking to a friend about the kinky stuff that went down the night before, but in reality, we all talk. If something happened that was particularly amazing, totally out there, or went horribly wrong, you can be sure it will be brought up at the brunch table the following morning.

Wear Guys clothes

Yes, we know, it's seriously annoying losing all your lovely clothes to girls but they just feel so nice. The hoodies, the t-shirts, even the boxers. Everything makes us feel small and they smell like you.. OKAY it's a little weird but it's never going to stop so deal with it.

 

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Fantasize

Everyone dreams up scenarios in their little heads and we're sure guys do it too but girls seems to be able to conjure up Alice In Wonderland worthy stories. Weddings, holidays, Oscar wins, Nobel prize awards, fabulous outfits over jaw dropping bodies, we think of it all... Usually with a soundtrack.

Readjust

Tights. The bane of our lives. The minute no one is looking we are hoisting those fuckers. Bra straps, french knickers, thongs... they all need adjusting, and it's a bitch.

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Sing

"I heard that you're settled down, that you... found a girl and you're married now ow ow..."

We sing in our cars, in our bedrooms, showers, and sometimes, only in our heads. It's more than likely off key but if we're doing it in the mirror in a towel you can be damn sure there's fist clenching involved.

 

Pee with the door open

If girls are living with all girls and there's a limited number of bathrooms, we will pee with the door open. Getting ready for a night out can be hectic and bathrooms are a communal room dammit. Also... We don't want to miss out on any chat.

 

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Sarah Power
Article written by
Unnatural blonde with a natural gift for wrapping presents. Never had one lesson. Big fan of Sex and the City, Eddie Vedder and men who have a good strong whistle. Hope to be a responsible woman one day, but for now I'm enjoying being a child in a woman's body. Pet peeve: People who abbreve everything.

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