What's that? You've got the answer to everything, have an obsession with exotic cuisines and completely guilt-free about your promiscuity in college? Sounds about right. These are just a few of the signs that you go to Trinity College.
1. You Just LOVE Exotic Lunches.
Unlike the normal student diet of chicken fillet rolls or, on a good day a bagel, you spend your afternoons munching away on all the exotic food that “your” city has to offer. It would be bemusing to find a Trinity student that does not have an opinion on where to get “the best burrito in Dublin." You and your friends will speculate on the way to the restaurant what dish you will get today, and even attempt the native accent when describing the foreign dish. You also tend to be quite possessive over these restaurants and would be quite upset to see a UCD student enjoying one of "your" Moroccan cuisines.
2. You Have The Answer To Everything.
Due to the esteem of your alma mater, you will dismiss the opinion of almost every person without a Trinity student card. If you are in Trinity studying arts, you are of course more medically knowledgeable than non-Trinity medical students nationwide.
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3. The Trinity Ball Is Your Time To Shine.
Your favourite day of the year is the Trinity Ball, when you get to wear an outrageous scarf that resembles a boy making his Bat Mitzvah over your black suit, and show off your beautiful college to your friends who do not have the luxury of attending it. You reference the acts on first name terms as if you’re the actual booker and high five people you don’t know. In fact, you generally just act like P Diddy for the six hours that you are at the ball. It is also likely you will attend a “Trinity gaf” beforehand just to give off the message to your DIT-based childhood buddies that you've better places to be.
4. You've Gone Through A Pete Doherty Phase.
Roughly around your second year of college, you will be handed something blue and have the “best night of your life." You will spend the next two years attending almost every festival in Ireland wearing horrible colourful glasses that you think make you look cool. You may even dabble in providing these mysterious blue things to other people whilst claiming to know everything about their effects. Of course you will throw in a few scientific terms that you Googled just to give you that Trinity effect.
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5. You Don't Care Who You Were In School With.
Even if you spent your six years of senior school saying nothing in the back of the classroom, being picked last in PE and wondering if you’d spend break time in a bin, it doesn’t matter; you're in Trinity now. The joke is now on that rugby head who is battling through his first year in a level 6 Business Management course in the IT down the road. You have new found self-confidence due to the fact that you have reinvented your personality, revelling in the company of your fellow nerds whilst going on nights out that you wouldn’t have dreamt of in your school days. This is also helped by the fact that you finally lost your virginity to a girl, who due to the fact that she was impressed by the organisation of the ball, mistook you as cool. If alone and without your new crew however, the site of this school jock walking down Grafton Street will still give you the shivers.
6. You Are Guilt-free About Your Promiscuity.
As a girl in Trinity, you have the luxury of being allowed hop from bed to bed around Dublin without coming under the same scrutiny as your non-Trinity female counterparts. As long as you pass your exams (which for some reason only occur once a year) your skirt can remain like an elevator. Some life! Those IT “moths” can hardly wear a string top without hearing numerous profanities shouted at them out of car windows. Ever heard “Well, like, no she’s not a whore, she does philosophy in Trinity, she just likes having a good time” said by some peroxide blonde-haired girl sipping on a Starbucks and considering posting her next self-promoting Snapchat? I’d assume so.
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7. You Help Promote All Trinity-based Things Via Social Media.
If you as see the word “Trinity” on a Facebook page you will like it. Not only does this let all of your Facebook friends know that you attend the college but by you and your peers liking it, it adds to the quite average page’s esteem. Never a Trinity event such as the quite typically named “Besstival” (yes, Besstival) passes by without at least 1000 Trinity heads liking the page or even “doing their bit” by sharing it. Don’t forget the “just saw this in college” statuses which include a picture of a man walking a dog with the college in the background - the important part being the college in the background. “#Dogisamansbestfriend”... Oh, do me a favour.
8. You Know Deep Down That You're An Average Sportsperson.
No matter what team you may be on in Trinity, you know the truth. If you were in anyway actually decent, you wouldn’t be playing for Trinity. Don’t get me wrong, Trinity is quite a tricky away day for chess and debating teams nationwide, just not for the more, physical and let’s be honest, important ball playing sports. Anger rushes through your body when you see the light blue shirts of UCD playing on TV in both Ireland’s top football and rugby leagues. This feeling of inferiority is soon diminished however, as you blast out a quick equation, go for a burrito and meet your previously mentioned blue friends later that night.
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