Is your boyfriend thinking of transferring or your girlfriend maybe got offered the job of her dreams in Canada? Now you've got to have 'the talk', the 'where are we going?' talk. The 'should we stay together or break up?' talk. That talk sucks ass. There will be emotions and maybe even some fighting. Clearly you like that person if you've agreed to go steady with them, but this new situation is the worst. You're probably happy that something great is happening for them but now something seriously shitty is happening to your relationship. Before you have 'the talk', give yourself time to think it over yourself. Clear things in your mind and really think about what you want.
1) Be Sure You Want to Commit
I get it you really really like this person. You maybe even love this person and you don't want to let them go. But please when one of you suggests that you have 'the talk', give yourselves some time to think about how you really feel about this relationship. Honestly, you have nothing to lose from giving the long-distance thing a go, you can always break up if it doesn't work, and that's OK. Some say a clean break is the best course for those who are thinking of getting into a long-distance relationship. I, myself have been in a previous LDR that didn't last solely because of the distance and boredom. We didn't really care about each other either, so of course it ended. If you don't want things to end messy, and maybe even over the phone, make sure it's what you really want.
2) Miscommunication
Technology is great. Nowadays we can communicate with people all over the globe for free! The only drawback is bad connections, screen freezing, bad WiFi signals plus misinterpretation. Some serious messages might be viewed as sarcastic, or something intended as humour could be read as a dig or insult. It can be difficult to clear things up if you are going to be in an area with no signal or WiFi, or you're asleep because you're in a completely different time-zone. This can make things difficult but hopefully you can rise above and be understanding enough to realise that your boyfriend can't control whether or not his Skype can connect or not and that sometimes you might read too much or not enough into a message.
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3) FOMO
You are going to see other people that you are attracted to. Just because you are committed to one person doesn't mean that you are blind to someone else's hotness. You, hopefully, won't act on it, but there might be that voice in the back of your head saying that it wished you could. Partly because you're lonely and partly because you're frustrated. If you're a needy person you might find yourself more and more frustrated on nights out with your friends, watching them get flirted with and acting on it. you might start missing the single life, or become a recluse, or maybe you'll be secure enough not to be bothered because you've found someone who likes you for you and that's enough for you. Even if you don't see them often.
4) No Sex
Hopefully, this won't be a shocker. You will be resigning yourself to a celibate existence. Maybe you're super religious or not into those sorts of things yet so that wouldn't be a big deal (man you're missing out). But you're also giving up kisses, hugs, long lingering gazes in each other's eyes, dancing together, holding hands, tickling, nudging, touching of any kind. That's a lot to give up. Make sure it's really what you want. Of course, if your partner is the one person you could ever imagine being with, this shouldn't bother you too much because your time together will be even more precious and enjoyable because it's fleeting.
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5) You Need Trust & Patience
If you are a naturally suspicious and insecure person do not agree to a L.D.R.. Your anxiety and trust issues will just worsen. If they don't answer your calls or messages you will instantly believe they are out having sex with a new person; which will lead to a fight and upset feelings on both sides. If you can't trust them or yourself, there is no point. No matter how much you care for that person, you won't be happy. Drama is the LDR's enemy. `You will need patience and trust to work through any arguments or misunderstandings. You''l need to be mature enough to understand that your girlfriend/boyfriend is a separate person to you and will have a whole life outside of your relationship. Your life won't revolve around them and their's won't revolve around you.
6) Being Your Own Person
College is the time when you can discover who you really are. Sometimes being in a committed on-campus relationship can hinder that. You'd be doing everything and anything together, maybe even turning into one of those annoying PDA couples. If your boyfriend isn't around, this gives you a chance to learn who you really are without them, without actually losing them. Being independent in your relationship and not losing who you are is a real plus unless you aren't a fan of yourself and the only you like about yourself is them....then that sucks for you maybe talk to someone about it. I'm sure you're great.
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7) Jealousy
When you're apart from your other half the couples around you seem to multiply. They will be everywhere: while you're grabbing your morning coffee, when you're walking to the library, having a night out with your friends, doing your weekly shop. You cannot escape them. this will piss you off and bring you down, especially when all you have to look forward to is their flickering pixilated image on Skype tonight. Hopefully, one day you'll be able to be one of those annoying couples.
9) People Change
Things will happen in both of your lives. Too many things will happen from week to week that will be deemed important enough to put in an email or mention on a phone call. These things will affect you as a person and if you're not experiencing them together you will change differently. Sorry. You may not know how long this separation will last, six months, a year, two years. You might find that one day you'll meet up after a few months and it will be totally awkward because you may not recognise that person in front of you. Or you might find that that person in front of you is even hotter and more interesting than the person you first decided to go long-distance with. It's a gamble. Good luck.
