The chivalric code of knights is long gone people. It’s become something of a cliche to say “Chivalry is dead”. It isn't dead but it’s damn well close to it! It’s been limping for a couple of hundred years. Now that we’re in the 21st century where you can’t even hold a door open because they’re all automatic, it’s had to pick up a few technological augmentations. Forget honour, valour, humility and all that out-dated shit. Forget about King Arthur, Tristan, Gawain and the boys, that’s a mug’s game; this is how chivalry works in the 21st century.
Letting Her Charge Her Phone First
If ever an act of kindness typified modern love, this could well be it. You both have I-phones, you’re both languishing in the last 10% of battery life and you’re about to go out. Chivalry nowadays means laying down your (battery) life for her. What an act of selflessness! In 5 hours when she’s snapping photos for her new Facebook profile and checking in at every bar you hit, you’ll be sitting in the dark ages with a dead phone and a severed link to the 21st century. Hero.
Letting Her Warm Herself On You
You sir, are a brave man! A braver man than me anyway. When a girl hops into my lovely warm bed trying to warm her frostbitten piggies on me, she’s on a fast track to a swift ejection from said lovely warm bed.
If you have the ability to survive this act of malice then you’ll earn brownie points off the Richter son. That’s chivalry, that’s love, and that shit is too damn much for the average guy, so fair play man!
The Hungover Expedition
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A classic. After a night out when you were both absolutely shit faced, the first expedition from bed for supplies can be a daunting one. If you can bite the bullet and face the harsh reality of a pre-session kitchen then you deserve some credit. Picking your way through an apocalyptic minefield of broken glass and unidentified sticky patches to make tea for your fair lady is a sure sign of modern day chivalry. If you have to leave the house to get her what she wants then bonus points for you brother!
Trusting Her To Use Your Facebook
Heading out for a day of college and leaving yourself logged into Facebook is a subtle way of saying “Hey, I’m a really good guy and I’m going to leave you alone any with potential skeletons I have in the closet, such is my confidence.” You’re also giving her access to your internet history, fair play. ‘Tis the the sign of an honest and open man living admirably in the modern world.
Liking Her Facebook Activities
So your lady friend posts Facebook statuses with infuriating regularity. Everybody is sick of them and refuses to like them in a silent yet furious protest. They annoy you too, but in a move befitting the gentle-folk of times gone by you like each and every single one. Even though she’s a banal idiot she feels that at least one person cares. You’re the closest person to her, and as the most important person in her life you’re validating your affection for her with every ‘Like’. CHIVALRY!
Not Checking Out Other Girls
In a time when yoga pants and leggings reign supreme, it’s becoming ever harder for men to restrain their wandering eyes. Keeping those eyes firmly fixated on the horizon may seem like something of a given courtesy, the aforementioned skin tight apparel really does make it challenging. When a gorgeous squat enthusiast struts your way, no matter how much those neck muscles bulge in anticipation for the 90° swivel you have to resist. Cool beans.
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