So you've broken up with a girl and it was against your will. Decidedly shit buzz. But don't despair! There are a few things you can do to try and reignite the flame you lost. Playing the slow game is usually the best course of action. Clear your head, get away from the madness that was the break-up and analyse your options. Keep in mind that the worst thing that can happen is that you don't get back together. These tips are about getting her back, but also about moving on if and when they fail. Here are 6 ways to make your ex want you back;
1. Ignore Them
OK, so hear me out. I know most people will say, "Don't play mind games!" Fuck those guys. This isn't technically playing mind games anyway. We've entered this discussion with the knowledge that the worst that can happen is you don't get back together. In that case, just play it cool. Give the whole thing space with no contact, electronic or otherwise. If you hound him/her they'll just be pushed away.
Desperation is about as unattractive as it gets. If they think that you really miss them, it's easier for them to ignore you. In that sense, ignore her and make it seem like you're happy to cut contact. It will bug her and she'll try to contact you, even if it's just to confirm that you aren't happy. Gimp.
2. Move On
I get that after a breakup it can be hard to just move on. But burying your head under the duvet and feeling sorry for yourself (as great as it is), is the worst way to deal with it. Start a new story in your life; book a holiday or do something totally new to your narrative. In a dead end job but you want to try something else? Just fucking do it. They'll see that you've changed and be interested to know what you're doing and if they should be a part of it. Let's get one thing straight. You're doing this for yourself. If they want to tag along for the ride that's fine. Provided you're OK with it, that is.
3. Avoid Begging/Pity
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Adopt an air of indifference and nonchalance even if you're really crying out for their company. Like I said, desperation is ugly as fuck. Avoid at all cost. If they want to talk to you don't jump all over it, you will look like a knob. If they think you don't care about them and you're are happy enough keeping your distance, then they're going feel an inclination to get in touch with you. Set a cut off point for not contacting them, I'd recommend 2 weeks or so, but you'll be a better gauge of your own relationship.
4. Focus On Your Own Happiness
Whatever that may be. It really doesn't matter. Throw yourself into your pastimes and/or your job. This goes hand in hand with taking a back seat and letting her come to you. The second you stop thinking in plural, is the very same second that you begin to envisage a life without him/her in it.
When that happens you can look at your relationship with a clear head. It may be over, but now you have hindsight and an ability to see what went wrong. Maybe you can offer a solution and something to break the monotony, saving the relationship and forcing you both to realise how much more there can be.
5. Make Her Jealous / Don't Show Jealousy
OK, so this is the act of the morally dead human being. Going out of your way to make it known to an ex that you've hooked up with somebody else is a dick move. Unfortunately, it could also work. Too risky for me though. It could be a final straw situation, whereby you find yourself with literally no chance of getting back with them. If she pulls this move just act indifferently. It will drive him/her fucking insane and make them wonder what else they need to do to get back with you.
6. Think About What You're Going To Say
If you've spent a bit of time apart, then maybe meeting for coffee is a good idea. But don't go in there blind. Have what you want to say clear in your head and make it heard. Don't get bogged down in the old relationship rhetoric, basically the reasons you broke up in the first place. Keep it new, fresh and fucking revelatory! Look at all the stuff I've done since. All positive stuff but don't rub it in. Remember not to beg and hopefully they'll realise it was them that held you back from bigger and better things.
