After you've been with someone for 12 full months, you might look back and notice how much things have changed. You're less nervous around them, but you're also not as passionate as you both once were. You shave less and you all but give up cleaning whenever they're coming over. Things are just different. But of all the things that change, none are more true than these:
1) You Answer The Phone On The Toilet
Not only that, you'll outright tell them when you're having a piss. For lads, you'll have no issue telling your girlfriend that you had a monster of a shit last night after a bad curry and pints. A little different from the early days of dating right? Back then, you pretty much ensured your new girlfriend or boyfriend didn't even know you had a bum-hole.
2) Hot Dates = Pizza And TV
Gone are the days of romantic gestures, fancy dinners or one-on-one drinks. Instead, you plan a night together only to simultaneously realise....this is already a sure thing. Why go through the effort? Screw it, lets stay, hop under a duvet and watch whatever's on while feeling each other up. And there's nothing wrong with that!
3) Sex Is Like Treating Yourself To A Takeaway
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There was a time when the promise of sex was like getting a new jet-ski or going to an epic concert with your mates, Kanye West and Beyonce. After a year of sex on tap though, it gets less exciting. It's good, you're still going to have a great time, but you don't start vibrating with excitement at the thoughts of it. It's more like the decision to buy a new pair of socks. Or saying "Fuck it, I'm not cooking for myself. Let's get a pizza." It's great. But whatever. But still great.
4) Hairy Legs And Hairy Backs
Your new boyfriend will never, ever know that you have gorilla legs.....unless you've been going out for a couple of months. After that, it gets less important. Why bother going through the pain of waxing? It's not like he's going to break up with you for having hairy legs every now and then! Same goes for guys who happen to have incredibly hairy backs (you know who you are). After a year of dating, this is where you find out if it's true love: your soul mate will love you regardless of your dog back.
5) Your Siblings Are Their Allies
That first polite meeting of the parents is always fun, right? They're always so polite, nervous and try everything to get on everyone's good side. And your siblings are naturally distrustful and wary. Until you've been going out long enough to feel like a sure thing. Then everything changes. Suddenly your brothers and sisters get really loose with embarrassing stories from your childhood and absolutely tear into you. All with your now long-term girlfriend/boyfriend cackling by their side.
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6) "We're watching this!"
You know how when you're going out first, you bring someone to the cinema and it's all "What do you want to see?" "Oh, I don't mind, what do you want to watch?" "I really don't mind, do you want to see that horror movie?" "Only if you do, I don't mind at all" "Well I don't want to watch anything you don't want to watch.
Dear god, it gets annoying! After a year though, you get a lot more honest and say exactly what you want. "I want to watch this chick flick with Channing Tatum!" "No, fuck that, let's watch Fast And The Furious 6." "No, we watched that shit prison movie last time, it's my turn." "But your taste in movies is shit!"
7) You're Owed Sexual Favours
Another thing that happens is that after a year or so of going out, you know all the things your partner is into. And they learn all the things you're into. And more than likely, these things aren't always going to overlap. It takes time to get to this stage, but when you do, you can use it for bargaining. Have to go a party being held by someone you hate? Well, all right then. But you have to do that thing I like.
"Aw man....better stock up on whipped cream."
8) You'll Eat Fried Chicken In Front Of Them
Unless you have absolutely no shame whatsoever, you're not going to eat a big greasy chicken leg in front of your date. It's easily one of the least attractive things to see in anybody, so you're not going to ruin your chances with this hot new guy/girl by stuffing your face in front of them. After a while though, you remember that fried chicken is fucking delicious. And they know it too. If they can't love you for eating delicious chicken, then it's not love!
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