The time has come. You try and psych yourself up, but the reality of the situation is that you'll be metaphorically shitting a small house worth of bricks and there's nothing you can do or say to change that. It's an entirely different scenario to meeting your new bang buddy's parents because they're pretty much ensured to despise you anyway. Just joking, not really. The stakes are much higher here. If their friends don't like you, then this so called 'relationship' is doomed to a life lived down the shitter. Here are the rules for meeting their friends for the first time. Don't fuck it up....
1) Shake Their Hand, Be A Lady/ Gent
It's not old fashioned nor is it uncool. What it is, however, is general good manners. Show that you some cop on and haven't just crawled out of the nearest hole. If you'd like to stand up while doing so too, you've immediately made a good first impression.
2) Pretend That You Know Who They Are, Even When You Have No Clue Whatsoever
Your other half decides that now is the time to name to thirteen odd people scattered around the room in the false belief that you'll actually remember some of their names. You won't. You don't stand a chance really, let's be honest. There is one thing you can do though, all is not lost. Before you meet them, have a little rummage around their online profiles. Once you can match a name to a face, you'll be far less overwhelmed when face to face with a sea of strangers. Just don't like of their pictures by mistake. Awkward enough.
3) Make An Effort To Get Involved, Don't Just Sit There Like A Plum
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Everyone likes a team player, especially someone who appears to be making some sort of effort. This means, in turn, that nobody likes a ragged bag of misery scowling from a dark corner. Obviously if you have no clue as to what's happening, don't start laughing at an in-joke you don't understand, but smile through the confusing patches, speak every now and then and don't be a depressing fuck.
4) Look Shit Hot
Plain and simple, impress them with yourself. You want to leave the room and have their friends pat them on the back in sheer amazement at their overachieving success. Get the tight dress out and wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
5) Ask Everyone About Themselves, Don't Just Blab On About Yourself
Do you forever want to be known as the self-important pain in the arse? Do you feel as though you need not learn anything else from anybody because you have so much to give and everyone should just listen to you instead? Yeah, you need to stop being yourself if that's the case. Ask a few questions and at least seem interested in people that aren't you.
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6) Add Your Two Cents Worth To The Banter About Your Other Half
This is only really relevant if you're a girl and meeting your boyfriend's friends because when you're a man and ripping the piss out of your girlfriend, her friends will probably headbutt you after two wines. Ladies, if you can join in with the camaraderie that's circulating your boyfriend and input your own quip or two, you'll gain their respect far faster than if you're just a polite little mouse.
7) Bring Alcohol And Be Forever Loved
If you're meeting them for the first time in a house party scenario, bring a big bottle of tequila and instantly get their respect. If you're in a bar, get them a drink and watch that new bond grow even stronger. Show that you're generous and a bit of a people pleaser, can't hurt right?
8) But Don't Get Too Drunk
There's a fine line between losing your sense of awkwardness and losing your stomach lining. It's a terrible thing to be completely messy and out of control in front of people you don't know and once you reach a certain level of being drunk, there's just no coming back from that. Drink to be sociable, but this is not the night to down half a bottle of whiskey and then cry in that exact order. Control yourself.
9) Don't Be Really Judgemental
It's highly unlikely that you're going to get along with every single member of their inner circle, hell, there are times when you don't really like some of your own friends. Accept in advance that these people will probably be different to you but that you're going to be polite and accepting and will try and enjoy yourself regardless of this. All in all, don't be a dick and everything will be ok.
