So it's 4am. You're hungry. Tired. At little tipsy, and more than a little aware of the fact that you have a short window in which to prevent yourself from suffering in the most horrible way tomorrow. Open up that wallet and spend what is likely to be the last of your precious cash on things that will actually benefit you tomorrow. Here are the best things money can buy at 4am:
1) Gallons Of Water
Let's face it, you're probably as dehydrated as a sun dried tomato right about now. You've spent hours ensuring that every ounce of water is evaporated from your pores and now is the time to start replenishing those stocks. Buy the largest bottle of water you can carry home. Five litres? Fantastic. That should see you right through the night.
2) Food
Who doesn't crave food at 4am after hours spent on the town? I personally tend to spend at least two hours of my clubbing experience in a puddle of my own drool, daydreaming about the large mound of food I'm about to tuck into. There's literally nothing better than devouring a delicious Taco Fries in the corner of Abrakebabra, unbeknownst to your friends. All the more for you, I say...
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3) Painkillers
Because it doesn't matter how much you say you'll behave yourself tonight, you're not 18 and you probably will spend a large portion of tomorrow morning trying and failing to drag yourself out of bed. Thank yourself tomorrow and stock up on headache erasers at 4am. You'll be your own favourite person the next day.
4) Some Extremely Strong Coffee
It'll work wonders on making you more alert and sharper if you're feeling, how should I put this, a little 'rough around the edges'. Goodbye rubbish talk, goodbye sore feet and an overwhelming urge to nap on the nearest possible soft furnishing. Hello, bright eyes, new ideas and a sudden urge to dance until you fall down. Double shot espresso, please.
5) Snacks For Tomorrow
You're probably not going to be feeling up to leaving the house tomorrow, unless you have to, in which case, good luck with that. You're up and about now, so take charge and fuel your day of luxury now, while you still can. Stockpile yourself with as many snacks as you can afford to buy, and let your stomach discover a little joy when you roll over in the morning. Go you!
6) A Taxi Home
This is more common sense than anything else. No sane, intelligent human being would even attempt to walk home alone after a night out. No matter how broke you are, scavenge together whatever remnants of a bank balance you have and ensure that you get home in one safe piece. That's not even advice, that's just an order!
