I think it's fair to say we all hate public transport in every shape or form. It doesn't matter whether it's sitting first class on a train (who even does that?) or being smack-bang in the middle of a bus headed for the city centre, you'll always come across at least a handful of people you wish hadn't left their houses this morning. Here are just some of those people we all dread sitting next to us on public transport:
1) The Sweaty One
God, how do these people even breathe when their bodies are producing that kind of stench all day? There's nothing worse than someone pungent sitting down beside you, especially when you're squashed into the inside seat and there's no way of escaping without asking them to let you out. And that's too awkward for your liking so you just hold your breath and hope they're getting off at the next stop...
2) The Girls That Are Just Here For The Weekend
You know these gal pals are on the bus before you even see them because their squeals of excitement echo through the entire vehicle. You'd nearly rather wait for the next bus than take the only remaining seat free in front of them. No wonder it's free...
3) The Guy With A Skateboard
Advertisement
What's the point of having a skateboard if you're going to end up on the fucking bus anyway? Stupid skater prat.
4) The Up Close And Personal One
There are twenty million other free seats on the train but they decide the one next to you is the best option. Not even the one opposite you, the one right beside you. You try putting the hand rest down between the two of you to avoid contact but that just leads to unwanted elbow touching. Ugh, there's no way out of this one.
5) The Shirtless Men
Seriously though, if there ever was a public transport etiquette manual, being fully-clothed would be in the top three for sure. In fact, I wouldn't even let you on the bus if you had your shirt unbuttoned. No-one needs to see that much flesh before their breakfast.
Advertisement
6) The Shouter
"SORRY, I'M ON A BUS SO I CAN'T REALLY HEAR YOU PROPERLY." Well, the rest of us can hear you loud and clear you fucking mong, so shut your trap.
7) The Creep
These people come in different sub-forms. There's the girl who keeps looking over your shoulder at your phone, then you have the man who keeps making eye contact that lasts more than the socially acceptable time of 0.5 seconds, and you can't forget the woman staring at your Taytos like they're the only morsel of food left on the planet. LEAVE ME ALONE.
8) The Tourists Trying To Photograph Everything
Advertisement
Could you please fuck off out of my face with your camera?
9) The Nose Picker
Dude, we can all see you, you're not being subtle whatsoever. Get a tissue or get off the bus. Now please.
10) The Morning After Bloke
You just know this guy has been in the pub all night, stayed for the lock-in and is only on his way home now. The smell of last night's whisky and the 3am kebab reeks from his shirt and his arms are so filthy he looks like he slept with pigs. Mank.
11) The PDA Couple
Advertisement
You have no idea how much you aggravate me and every other singleton on this vehicle.
12) The Chewer
I can literally tell you in detail everything you just swallowed because your mouth is so far open I could probably fit my whole head in as well.
13) The Tour Group
Usually Spanish. Usually young. Usually ignorant little shits. Usually break me out in the sweatiest of sweats.
14) The Loud Music Wanker
If I can sing along to the music you're listening to, you need to turn it the fuck down. Seriously. Especially if it's Sam Smith and you're gazing out the window into the distance. Awks.
