The 28 Struggles Of Being Pale In The Summer

While most people rejoice when the sun comes out, us pale-skinned people start to sweat way before the heat kicks in. The sun is not our friend. We have tried many times to get to know him, bond with him, maybe even flirt a little, but no luck. He hates us. And our skin. We just don't get on. So if you're like me, sitting indoors away from the sun, I'm sure you'll recognise the struggles of being pale in the summer:

1) The first time you bare your legs, you get compared to various dairy products.

"Your legs are like milk bottles!" "Haha your arms are like ice-cream". Like I've never heard that before. GOOD ONE.

2) If you do get the courage to venture outside with your skin visible, it is covered in suncream.

Factor 50. Three layers. Repeat every two hours.

3) But somehow, you begin to see the red patches forming.

On your nose, shoulders, forehead, chest....

4) And if when you get burned, you get BURNED.

You find about half of your skin peeled in your bed.

5) You even manage to get burned when the sun isn't there.

Wind burn. IT'S A REAL THING.

6) Going to the beach is your worst nightmare.

So. much. sun. No shade. Where will I hide??

7) You try to enjoy it but you just want to go back home to the shade of your room with air conditioning.

I just want to survive this.

8) If you leave any bit of skin exposed, get ready for pain.

Tie your hair up for twenty minutes? BOOM the back of your neck is singed.

9) Sparkling like Edward Cullen when the sun hits you.

I'm so shiny... It's glitter, I swear. Not suncream. Or sweat.

10) Only being able to stand the heat for about twenty minutes.

Sooo sleeeepy.

11) Hoping that all your sunburn will make you tanned.

This pain better not be for nothing...

12) Only to find that you probably just got more freckles.

Oh joy. I could always use some more freckles on my face.

13) Getting a spray-tan before you go on holidays so you won't feel left out.

Maybe it will give me a base and make me tan naturally.

14) And then having to scrub the spray-tan off after it got really streaky from the pool.

WHY did I think this was a good idea?!

15) When you're not applying suncream, you're applying aloe vera.

Must soothe the pain somehow.

16) Being known for being pale.

"Clare? Oh is that the really pale girl?"

17) Spending most of your money during the summer on suncream.

Gotta stay protected.

18) Having an incredibly impressive and diverse suncream collection.

This one's for my face, this one's for my ears, this one's for my nose....

19) Having to deal with people laughing at your sunburn.

Oh I'm sunburned? I wasn't aware, but thank you for pointing it out anyway and laughing at my pain.

20) Constantly crossing the road to walk in the shady part.

If I can't see the sun, it can't see me.

21) Not being able to cope with the heat.

So hot, so sweaty, how do people live in weather above 15 degrees?

22) Constantly sweating.

Why does my body hate me?

23) Staining all your clothes.

Those yellow stains from suncream NEVER come out.

24) Feeling let down when people tell you that you haven't tanned.

I honestly thought my skin had changed colour this time.

25) Not being able to see your face in your selfies.

When the sun comes out, you become invisible with no facial features. Like a ghost.

26) You never tan, you "get the sun".

Other versions include; a nice glow, a healthy look about you.

27) Truly believing that one day you will eventually tan.

It will happen. IT WILL.

28) But having to accept that it won't.

Let's just face it. It ain't gonna happen.