In this day and age, creeping has replaced conversation. You can find out everything you need to know about someone just from a quick scroll through their Facebook page. But with great power comes great responsibility, and touch screens are a tricky thing. One slip of the finger and they'll know that you were having a look through their family holiday in Barcelona summer 2003. Not everyone has yet mastered the art of creeping, and this is where this list comes in. The golden rules for creeping online like a pro:
1) Choose your device carefully
The first step in creeping incognito. If you don't trust your big thumbs, do not, I repeat DO NOT creep on a touch screen phone. Keep it old-fashioned and stick to the computer. You're less likely to click accidentally than you are to accidentally tap like.
2) Pick a medium you know
If you're not sure how Instagram works, then just stick with Facebook. Using an app you're not familiar with will increase the chances of you being found out.
3) Keep on one side
When you're scrolling, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD keep to the side where the "like" button isn't. That way you're much more likely to like something which will just ruin your cover FOREVER.
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4) Store your information correctly
Make sure you keep all your many, many screenshots somewhere where the person you're creeping on won't find. Delete them, if necessary.
5) Hide what you know
When you meet the person face-to-face and they reference something you found online that you're not supposed to know, act innocent and pretend you don't know. Oh really? That is brand new information.
6) Quick reflexes
Always be ready to cancel a friend request or to exit an app. Don't worry, we've all done it.
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7) Stick to social media.
Don't Google them, because then we get into new territory. Real creepy territory...
8) Interrogate their friends.
Don't just stick to their page, find their friends too. Instagram is good for this. You can learn a lot about them by what their friends put up too.
9) Don't get caught.
No matter happens, deny EVERYTHING.
