When historians in the future begin to try excavate the ruined, buried city once known as 'Dublin', they will have one question on their minds - and the project sheets which they used to secure funding for their endeavours - 'What went wrong with Dublin?'. As they dig through the rubble, trying to ascertain what possible event could have caused such a seemingly stable 21st century city to plunge into an anarchy so unbridled it culminated in the city being razed from the face of the earth, a picture of chaos will emerge.
They will uncover signs of rioting, of wanton violence, carnage. They will see evidence of friends, families, neighbours, turning on one another in frenzies of horrifying blood-lust. Eventually, some coherence will emerge from these scattershot impressions of brutality, an epicentre will become evident - 24 Upper Baggot Street.
This is the site of Bunsen's newest store in Dublin, opening tomorrow, Friday 4th. The reason that I presume it will become the locus of a cataclysmic event that will tear apart the fabric of our society is because, to celebrate the opening of the store, they will be giving away free burgers from 5pm tomorrow 'until they run out'.
It can only be presumed that, the promise of such vast quantities of free meat will send people hurtling toward Baggot Street, all semblance of civility cast aside by each person to reveal the beast within. When Bunsen begin to run up against their limited quantities of meat, they will be forced to try confront the unlimited depths of the voracious appetities they have unearthed. Riots will ensue as beef grows scarce. Soon, carnal-driven carnage will engulf Dublin.
Maybe.
Or people will just queue in an orderly fashion, receive their free burgers with grace and humility and those who miss out will simply accept this state of affairs with stoic dignity.
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Who's to say.
