17 Things That Happen At Every Irish Graduation Ever
As a recent graduate myself, there are some practises that are truly unique to graduating from university. You never really know how it's going to go down until you actually show up to the ceremony.
It's a weird time realising you're actually a bona fide adult, but there are some parts of the graduation process that play out like clockwork.
Here are some of the occurrences that are guaranteed to happen at every college graduation, ever.
1. Everyone questioning the integrity of the PhD students in those ridiculous hats
They look like a mix between a pimp and Henry the 8th.
2. The doting parent shouting down at their son/daughter to turn around
Only to literally look like this...
3. That one parent who's flash keeps going off as they take 10,000 photos
You can't even see them from that distance, feck off.
4. The announcer mispronouncing everyone's names
Caoimhe is 'Kaa-ooh-me' and Réalta is 'Rel-ta'.
5. Planning your graduation dinner for six months and ending up getting a carvery
There's so much indecisiveness between tapas or Italian that you stick to good old Irish food.
6. The absolute shite you end up talking to your lecturers
'Well Professor O'Neill, I am currently doing a masters to really broaden my education further', aka I'm too scared to actually go out into the real world...
7. Every girl poses for photos throwing their hats up in the air while the lads stand around dumbfounded
Every.Single.Time.
8. Everyone poses with their degree after the ceremony
Sure if you don't pose with your degree, did you even get one?
9. Every girl falls over in their heels around seven times
Cobblestones and heels aren't friends.
10. Your nana slips you a fifty under the table
Take it quickly now Ciara, say nothing.
11. Everyone looking like ridiculous Harry Potter characters in their gowns
The state of the gowns.
12. Seizing the opportunity of free drink from your parents and ordering three bottles of wine at dinner
Carpe Diem.
13. After receiving your degree spending the next 90 minutes snapchatting everyone
It's such a long ceremony, might as well pretend i'm a giraffe with Snapchat filters.
14. The mutual confusion and dis-belief with the PhD students' thesis titles
'The analysis of yogurts on the human psyche and how lactose intolerance is developed amongst the woodland creatures of the Morbegs on Craggy Island in 1996'. Sorry what?
15. That one parent wailing in their seat
There's always one.
16. Eating around 30 sandwiches at the reception
There's two hours until your dinner, might as well...
17. Finally...getting forced into getting a 'professional' photo which involves holding a fake scroll and your parents yelling 'Show us your teeth when you smile'
I'll smile how I want to, Karen.