9 Reasons Why Your Student House Was A Kip
Ahh, the student house. We've all been there, we've all suffered through it. It wasn't easy, but we made it. Well, just about. Here are the nine reasons your student house was a kip.
It Was Freezing
You could see your breath every morning & the heat disappeared into nothing as soon as it left the radiator. Your only hope was to bury yourself under a mountain of sheets and hug your laptop charger for warmth... and companionship.
It Was Mouldy
Countless days were lost due to the infection suffered from the black mould hanging out in every corner of your bathroom. It wouldn't be as bad if you could actually eat the mushrooms growing out of the skirting boards but you tried that once and had a psychotic episode.
It Was Old
Carpet in the bathroom, sockets in stupid places, no double glazing. Candles instead of electricity. This was the house the 21st century forgot.
It Was Small
You tried swinging a cat in it, but you simply couldn't, and god help you if there were two people making dinner. Impossible.
It Was Expensive
Even more of an issue now with the current housing crisis, even back then your student house was a rip-off.
It Was Dirty
Okay, this isn't entirely the houses' fault. Although if it was a nice house in the first place maybe you would have made more of an effort to keep it clean.
It Was Dark
A surefire sign of a student house. This symptom is usually a mix of trying to save on the leckie and a dearth of windows. Also, being in a dark house all the time is like having seasonal affective disorder, spend too much time inside and you'll be left with a sense of hopeless melancholy.
It Was Uncomfortable
The sofa was the furniture equivalent of a bad liposuction job. Your mattress was so lumpy you opted to sleep on the floor and the chairs were designed with the express purpose of giving you chronic back pain.
Nothing Worked
The fridge kept freezing stuff on you. The freezer was so ineffective there was a family of mice living comfortably inside. There was only one good ring on the cooker and even that took the guts of an hour to warm up. The shower was either freezing or it would burn your skin off.