The AmeriKanye Dream: Why Kanye West Would Make a Great American President
Kanye West announced his intention to run for President of the United States in 2020 while off his tits at the VMAs last week. Even though we think Donald "Some, I assume, are good people" Trump will be a perfectly lovely president, we also reckon Yeezy will be the perfect choice for the Amerikanye Dream
1) High Standards
Kanye West as President would eliminate lazy people from the continent of America because he's pretty picky, and he doesn't believe in any grades between A+ and F. No pressure lads.
2) He is a Creative Genius
There will be no more problems for the citizens of the US; Kanye will simply create amazing and groundbreaking solutions. Hail Yeezus, our Eternal Leader.
3) He'll Teach America How to Dress Properly
We won't have to deal with American tourists wearing slacks and runners and American Football jerseys. Vote Kanye 2020.
4) He's Actually Anti-War and Supports Gun Control
*Actual Serious Note* Kanye is aware of the real problems in the US, and that by not going to war with "terrorists" and by limiting gun ownership, they won't have situations like 509 people dying in Chicago from gun crime and 314 soldiers dying in Iraq in 2010.
5) He's an Actual God
He said so, that's why. Who wouldn't want a god as President? It's like having the CEO of a multinational coming back to work as a toilet cleaner.
6) All You Need Is Love
Ahhhh sure our Kanye's just a hopeless rosemantic at the end of the day, and he knows what the people really want and need: "I just zoned in on how ill it is to really fall in love... Pimpin' is whatever... Love is that s**t!".
7) He'd Ban Taylor Swift
Hopefully.
8) Impulsive National Decisions
He trusts his gut does Kanye West. He knows that he'll always be right no matter what and that if he acts on impulse, it will lead to, in his own words, "complete awesomeness".
9) He'll Write A Decent National Anthem For America
'Cause: "I am flawed as a human. I am flawed as a person. As a man I am flawed... But my music is perfect."
10) He's Not Donald "I beat China all the time" Trump
And that's definitely a good thing.
11) He'll Be the World's First Non-Political Politician
He's not a politician, he doesn't like being political or politically correct. He'll love being President, then.
12) He's very, very humble.
A quiet, self-deprecating man by nature, Yeezus Christ's humility is best summed up by this declaration: "Come on now! How could you be me and want to be someone else?" Yep.
13) His Stance on Marijuana Use
The man announced his intention to run for President after smoking a fat one for Yayzus sake! What do you imagine he'll do in office?