If You Didn't Cry At This Scene In Blue Planet 2 You're Dead Inside

A lot of people have their own particular triggers for what sets them off in a teary mood. People in tune with their own emotions will often be moved to tears by events in their own lives, thankfully, for the vast majority, this doesn't apply and we need to source our fix of melancholy from external sources, such as Disney movies, Channel 4 documentaries which use soundtracks heavily featuring Coldplay, and remembering the continued existence of Coldplay. Personally though I find what really flips the switch on my tear ducts from 'barren desert' to 'sluices for hot, salty brine' is seeing large aquatic mammals in distress, and, in that regard, Blue Planet 2 had oodles of the stuff on offer.

Now in and amongst the usual ocean-based shenanigans was a scene so harrowing it beggared belief. The episode, for the most part, was the usual mix of astounding footage of very damp animals going about their glorious business and guilt-tripping every single viewer about how their continued existence is destroying everything on the planet.

The pinnacle of this was when Attenborough decided to try twist the knife by showing a big ol' lovely pilot whale, carrying around something that, on first glance seemed like a giant shopping bag. "Oh lovely," we thought, "This whale has gone out and done some shopping for her family, how adorable and quaint". Obviously this wasn't the case for a multitude of reasons, least of them being that, smart as whales are, they have yet to, as far as the programme made clear, open any sort of extensive chain of franchised supermarkets at which they could do their shopping. Instead, this pilot whale was actually carrying around the body of her deceased calf.

She had apparently been carrying the body around for several days and David Attenborough said of the reason for its death that "It's very likely that the infant was poisoned by her (the mother whale's) own contaminated milk". Now leaving aside the fact that as described here, and indeed shown earlier in the episode, that whales breastfeed, which of course makes sense given they're mammals, but is also absolutely fucking mental, the previous sentence may be the most depressing string of words I've ever had to throw together.

If you weren't already struggling to cope with your Monday then this will tip you over the abyss.

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