The 32 Funniest One-Off Simpsons Characters

This is a list of the funniest characters that have only appeared in one episode of the funniest show on television, The Simpsons. Of course I am disregarding the last ten years of the show's history, because in my eyes, they didn't happen. Special dispensation has been made for the likes of Artie Ziff and Homer's brother Herb, who appeared in more than one episode, but not nearly enough to be considered a reoccurring character.

(I would like to apologise in advance for the quality of some of the video clips, but it was the best that I could do. I think they're funny to get away with it though.)

Also, this list is in no particular order, and is written literally in the order in which I remembered the different characters.

Hank Scorpio

Episode: "You Only Move Twice"

Voiced By: Albert Brooks

Best Quote: "Homer, I got to go upstairs. There's a problem. Somebody ate part of my lunch."

The owner of the Globex Corporation, Hank Scorpio also appears to be a super villain. He also happens to be a great guy to work for, and when Homer eventually moves back to Springfield, Scorpio buys him the Denver Broncos as a going away present.

Lyle Lanley

Episode: "Marge vs. The Monorail"

Voiced By: Phil Hartman

Best Quote: " So then, “mono” means “one”. And “rail” means “rail”. And that concludes our intensive three-week course."

Artie Ziff

Episode: First Appearance in "The Way We Was"

Voiced By: Jon Lovitz

Best Quote: "No one must know about my busy hands."

Belle

Episode: Bart After Dark

Voiced By: Tress MacNeille

Best Quote: "Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle and... are you wearing a grocery bag?" Homer: "I have misplaced my pants."

Lugash

Episode: "Children Of A Lesser Clod"

Voiced By: Dan Castellaneta

Best Quote: See below.

Karl (Homer's Assistant)

Episode: "Simpson and Delilah"

Voiced By: Harvey Fierstein

Best Quote: “I want you to say to yourself 'I deserve this, I love it, I am Nature's greatest miracle!”

The Leader

Episode: "The Joy Of Sect"

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote: N/A

Tall Guy In Small Car

Episode: "22 Short Films About Springfield"

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote: "This was the largest auto that I could afford."

Frank Grimes Sr.

Episode: "Homer's Enemy"

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote:  [Referring to the Simpson's house] "THIS PLACE IS A PALACE! I MEAN, I LIVE IN A SINGLE ROOM ABOVE A BOWLING ALLEY and below another bowling alley!"

Rex Banner

Episode: "Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment"

Voiced By: David Thomas

Best Quote: "Pet shop, eh? Well, I have one thing to say about that. What kind of pet shop is filled with rambunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1:00 in the morning?" Moe: "Er, uh ... the ... best damn pet shop in town!" People: "Yeah!"

Khlav Kalash Vendor

Episode: The City Of New York vs. Homer Simpson

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote: See below.

Royce McCutcheon

Episode: "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote: "That's the miracle of the franchise. You get all the equipment and know-how you need, plus a familiar brand-name people trust. You'll be on a rocket-ride to the moon! And while you're there, would you pick up some of that nice, green moon money for me, Royce McCutcheon?" Homer: "No deal McCutcheon, that moon money is mine!"

Ray Patterson

Episode: "Trash Of The Titans"

Voiced By: Steve Martin

Best Quote: "If I hadn't already packed my letter opener, I'd give you such a stabbing!"

Mindy Simmons

Episode: "The Last Temptation Of Homer"

Voiced By: Michelle Pfeiffer

Best Quote: "Can't talk, eating."

Herb Powell

Episode: First Appearance In "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Voiced By: Danny DeVito

Best Quote: "Come on Homer, there is at a maximum only forty dollars worth of steel in each of these things! So which one do you want?"

Andy (Prime Minister of Australia)

Episode: "Bart vs. Australia"

Voiced By: Harry Shearer

Best Quote: [floating naked on an inner tube with a beer] "Aye, mates! What's the good word?"

Shelbyville Manhattan

Episode: "Lemon Of Troy"

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote: See below.

Shary Bobbins

Episode: "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious"

Voiced By: Maggie Roswell

Best Quote: "Hello, I'm Shary Bobbins." Homer: "Did you say Mary Pop..." Shary: "No! I definitely did not! I'm an original creation, like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck. "

Stampy

Episode: "Bart Gets An Elephant"

Voiced By: N/A

Best Quote: N/A

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

Episode: "The Last Temptation Of Homer"

Voiced By: N/A

Best Quote: N/A

McGarnagle (And Billy)

Episode: "Bart's Inner Child"

Voiced By: Dan Castellaneta

Best Quote: See below.

Anya

(The only character on this list that you never actually see.)

Episode: "Cape Feare"

Voiced By: Pamela Hayden

Best Quote: Marge: "Lisa, you got a letter." Lisa: "It's from my pen-pal Anya!" [reads] Anya: [voice over] "Dear Lisa, as I write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and [voice changes to that of a man] replaced by the benevolent general Krull. All hail Krull and his glorious new regime! Sincerely, Little Girl."

Malloy

Episode: "Homer The Vigilante"

Voiced By: Sam Neill

Best Quote: "Homer, old chap, well done. If anyone was going to catch me, I'm glad it was you." Homer: "Actually, it wasn't me, it was my dad, Grampa." Grampa: "Thanks, Son. So you see, old people aren't so useless after all. Malloy's old, and he outsmarted the lot of you. And I'm even older and I outsmarted him! Ah ha ha ha..." Moe: "Shut up." Grampa: [meekly] "I've had my moment."

Bobby Peterson

Episode: "Homer Goes To College"

Voiced By: Hank Azaria

Best Quote: [After catching the three nerds with a drunken and kidnapped Sir Oinks-A-Lot, the Dean has just been forced to expel them.] Dean Peterson: "I'm sorry, boys. I've never expelled anyone before, but that pig had some powerful friends." Richard Nixon: "Oh, you'll pay. Don't think you won't pay!"

Handsome Pete

Episode: "Bart The Fink"

Voiced By: N/A

Best Quote: N/A

Mr. Blackheart

Episode: "Bart Gets An Elephant"

Voiced By: Harry Shearer

Best Quote: "Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the Fox Network. And, like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory."

Mojo

Episode: "Girly Edition"

Voiced By: Dan Castellaneta

Best Quote: See below.

Larry Burns

Episode: "Burns, Baby Burns"

Voiced By: Rodney Dangerfield

Best Quote: Mr. Burns: "Something is not right about Larry's upbringing. Send for the boys of Yale at once!" (Burns' office. Two admissions officers from Yale are by his desk) Mr. Burns: "Well, how did the interview go?" Male Admissions Officer: "Larry made light of my weight, then suggested my motto ought to be "Semper Fudge". Afterwards he told me to "relax" and "forget about it"." Mr. Burns: "OK, OK. How were his test scores?" Female Admissions Officer: "Let me put it this way. Larry spelled Yale with a 6." (Mr. Burns, in a not-to-subtle moves, opens his checkbook) Mr. Burns: "Oh, I almost forgot, it is time for your annual contribution. How much should I give?" Male Admissions Officer: "Let us see. A score of 400 would require new football uniforms. A score of 300 would require a new dormitory." Mr. Burns: "And in Larry's case?" Male Admissions Officer: "A new international airport." Female Admissions Officer: "Yale could use an international airport, Mr. Burns." Mr. Burns: "Blast you! I am not made of airports! Get out!" (I know Larry isn't in this scene but it's too funny not to include.)

Number One

Episode: "Homer The Great"

Voiced By: Patrick Stewart

Best Quote: [at Homer's initiation] "And now for the final ordeal: The Paddling Of The Swollen Ass! With paddles."

Sideshow Cecil

Episode: "Brother From Another Series."

Voiced By: David Hyde Pierce

Best Quote: Sideshow Bob: "You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five. What about the buffoon lessons, the four years at clown college." Cecil: "I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."

Jessica Lovejoy

Episode: "Bart's Girlfriend"

Voiced By: Meryl Streep

Best Quote: Rev. Lovejoy [to Jessica]: "Well, young lady, I suppose we brought you home from boarding school a little prematurely." Jessica: "I was expelled, Dad! Remember the pipe bomb, the Glee Club brawl? Remember the school chapel collection plate? [Rev. Lovejoy starts singing "Bringing in the Sheaves" as Jessica talks] Exploding toilets ring a bell? Come on, Dad! Pay attention to me! We're going there."

John

Episode: "Homer's Phobia"

Voiced By: John Waters

Best Quote: [Robo-Santa chases the reindeer away] Homer: "It's a miracle!" John: "No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing."