The Hidden Meanings Behind One-Word Texts

There should be an encyclopaedia to explain the hidden meaning behind text messages, especially one-word text messages. We all use them, yet we all absolutely despise it when they are used on us!  It's a never-ending, inconvenient catch-22! Here are the hidden meanings behind one-word texts.

"Hey."

"I'm into you, but I don't want to give too much away. This is my way of starting a casual conversation and making it seem like I'm playing this super cool and suave, like Angelina Jolie out of the frickin' 'Tomb Raider.' Write back please. Please. PLEASE? Whatever, it's cool if you don't. I'm not really bothered..."

"Heyyyyy."

Unlike the aforementioned "hey," the hey with several added "Y's" is far more obvious and flirtatious, which usually translates to this: "It's after 2am on a Friday night and I'm gonna be honest with you - I straight-up want you to come over"

"Night."

"Okay, it's late. I'm not going to bed or even tired at all, I just want to be done with talking to you now. Your conversation has bored me into another dimension and all I want to do is cut you off. Also, I have absolutely zero desire to have sex with you ever, otherwise I would have put way more effort into creating a histrionic serenade to close this awful conversation. However I'm not that harsh as to tell you this cold hard truth, so I'm just going to respond with this simple one-word text."

"Ha."

"What you just said in your last text was adequate for just the one "ha," meaning that it barely made me smile, let alone laugh. In reality, it was utterly abysmal. You suck. You'll know that I don't find this at all funny otherwise I would have responded with the usual "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I only save that for my besties and for people who nearly make me soil myself."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA."

"I am currently spewing any food I had inside my mouth all over the place, almost choking to death and I won't lie, I peed a little. You, sir, are a comedic genius. I fucking love you"

"?"

"Ummmm, he-fucking-llo!! I sent you a message over 15 minutes ago and you STILL haven't responded. Really?! I don't need you to respond, but I would appreciate it. Have you got something better to do than talk to me, huh? Write back now! I have hundreds of people who want to hang out with me and find me fun to be around that I'd pick over you in a heartbeat ... Okay, I lied. I NEED you. I need your constant attention! I'm desperate and pathetic. Write back pleeeeeeease!"

"..."

I literally am in shock right now. I cannot believe what just farted out of your mind and into your text, so much so that I'm not even going to dignify you with a word response. Yes, I'm giving you the hated "..." so you know you're in trouble! Also, I don't want to go out on a limb here and say something I know I'll regret. I want to see what your next text is. And remember, what you say next is of momentous importance. Choose your words wisely."

"K."

"I've heard everything I need to from you, and you can kindly fuck off now. I'm pissed off with you and instead of writing a 10 page rant, I'm going to do the opposite and give you not even a one-word response, but a one-letter response! Boom! You've just been hit with the muthafuckin' "k" bitch! Take this as a huge middle finger right to your face. And I KNOW that this will cut you right to your core - I can see you ping your phone against the wall in reaction to seeing my clever, witty and extremely intellectual response. You've just been served..."