8 Signs Every Irish Parent Loves A Good Death
1. They love a good funeral
An important ritual in Irish society, the perfect funeral needs to be executed with absolute precision. From mass cards and readings to shaking hands and sandwiches- everything must go off without a hitch.
There will be endless comments that the person in the coffin "looks like himself" and the priest must also come good on the day as he will inevitably be subjected to a post-funeral critique. The parameters of his performance are rigorous and based solely on whether he did a lovely mass or not.
2. Death predictions
The aftermath of a death will also see an Irish parent steer the conversation to a sick person. While they may not know the cause of the ailment, they've concluded that the said person's future is bleak.
"Margaret O' Leary hasn't been too well either...in the hospital the last few weeks and they still have no clue what's wrong with her.
"It's not looking good."
3. Keeping up with the latest deaths is a daily activity
Whether it's checking newspaper death notices or relying on digital mediums like RIP.ie, Irish parents like to keep in the know with who has met their maker.
Down the country, it's all about the radio death notices: "Ssssh. SSSH," they say, with their ear intently pressed against the radio intently, just in case they miss any important pieces of information.
4. Relaying death news is common
Whether it's the neighbour down the road, the butcher's friend's cousin or any member of the human race, an Irish mammy will be sure to pass on news of a death to anyone who'll listen.
"Do ya know your man? You do, you know your man. The man with the head who drives a van? Well he's dead."
5. Catch Phrases
It's not uncommon for Irish parents to throw in a few choice catchphrases when talking about the death. "He's in a better place now" or "He's with our Lord" are all staple comments.
After the thousandth time of uttering "Sorry for your loss" at a funeral, the sentence begins to lose all meaning. Sorryforyourloss.
6. Never speaking ill of the dead is a golden rule
When a person dies, their reputation soars. It doesn't matter what was thought of them when they were alive, the parents only ever have a good word to say about the dearly departed.
7. The Banshee
Yes, yes it's so old school and no one even talks about it but it deserves a mention for it's Irishness alone. A wailing spirit who comes to forewarn the imminent death of a family member? Folklore at its finest.
8. RIP.ie
To most people the internet is this thing that has thousands of possibilities. You going umpteen websites day, spend most of your waking hours browsing various websites etc but for Irish parents it means only one thing - RIP.ie ... And maybe Done Deal.