Love Island's Jack And Dani Announce Engagement - Then Immediately Call It Off

If you're apt to hyperbolically describe the goings on in the lives of two people, who you and I almost certainly have never personally met, as an 'emotional rollercoaster', then allow me to describe what has transpired between Jack and Dani as an 'emotional rollercoaster'.

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The couple finished as the winners of the most recent season of Love Island, and represented both the epitome of a legitimate, functioning relationship that all the other contestants strove for, and, consequently, the direct antithesis to anything achieved by Dr. Alex on the island - whose relationship history can essentially be surmised as 'making several girls feel uncomfortable on a sun-lounger due to ill-judged football chat'. They, them, those two bastions of love's ideal, announced that they were to be wed. They then immediately said that this was not the case.

Specifically Dani Dyer, the progeny of Danny Dyer - the living personification of a headbutt, uploaded a video to Instagram and Twitter this morning with a ring on her finger, bearing the caption "I said yes! My soulmate." Now, let it never be said that the people of Twitter are fools, they are sleuths, deducers and astute observers to the last. Despite Dani Dyer not naming anyone, it was quickly surmised that she was, in all likelihood, referring to her boyfriend, Jack Fincham. With the people who place stock in such things now whipped up into a suitable frenzy by the news, Dani Dyer revealed the full scope of her caprice. Oh Dani Dyer, we are but your play-things, our hearts, our hopes are but the pawns with which you toy. She announced that her post had been little more than a joke, a simple dare she'd risen to after being goaded by Capital FM DJ Roman Kemp.

The news that her engagement wasn't real was evidently received so poorly that she had to issue an apology.

And now, here we are, at the end of a news story about the fact that, there is no news.

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