What To Buy Your Irish Mammy This Xmas

The Irish Mammy is about as hard to buy for as a dead person – they want nothing.

Upon asking them what gift they might want they simply reply, 'I don't want anything, a card will do.' This is the dreaded answer heard by thousands of children across the country. Instead of giving your mother a hug for Christmas, we've compiled a list of items she'll really get use out of and cherish for years to come.

Get ready for the tears to flow upon handing your hard working mother some of these bad boys.

1. Brillo pads

Nothing says I love you like some metal wool for scrubbing pans!

2. An apron

Don't bother to buy a new one, just simply wrap her current one up in wrapping paper so it looks like you got her a new one. She'll never know the difference!

3. Some fridge magnets

It shows your thinking of her when she open the fridge to cook all your meals for you.

4. A pair of wellies

For working on the farm as she does all the jobs around the house.

5. Wrapping paper (to wrap your presents)

Well duh!

6. Some flowers from the garden

It doesn't matter if they took her three years to grow, she wants them uprooted now!

7. Your leftover bottle of Buckfast

Nothing says 'I put loads of thought into this' like a leftover bottle of tonic wine. She'll be simply ecstatic.

8. The ingredients to make bread

Because it isn't going to bake itself.

9. Tea bags

For making you tea – win win.

10. Tea strainer

In case you decide to get her some fancy loose tea.

11. A tea pot

To brew your tea of course!

12. Appreciation

For you turning her present into a benefit for yourself, you're simply a genius.

13. A nice new iron

When was the last time you saw her with a smile on her face ironing your clothes? Well the problem was she didn't have a nice new one to try out, she'll be simply delighted.

14. A tea cosy

So when you have your ungrateful friends around instead of you making them tea, you can order her to do it for you and make use of her cool new tea cosy.

15. Some latex gloves

It's every woman's dream.

16. A receipt for your phone bill

So you can be contactable with your mates but ignore her phone calls.

17. Finally... a lovely card so she'll get exactly what she wanted

You are just the best child ever – bravo.