The 12 Awkward Stages Of A Non-Relationship

There is a stage at the beginning of a serious commitment that I like to call 'relationship limbo'. It's where you both haven't had the 'DTR (define the relationship) talk' yet about where the relationship is going or what exact title is on the relationship. To put it bluntly, you like spending time together and semi occasionally bumping uglies and you're certain that you're only doing this with each other, yet you're both too afraid or unwilling to ask where you stand or where it's going. A glorious time FULL of awkward moments then. Here are 12 of them....

1) You're Not Sure Of Your Own Relationship Status.

Ehhhh yes, I'm single. But I'm also seeing someone, but we're not in a relationship. So I'm not really single? I don't even really understand my own life right now.

2) You're Not Really Sure How To Introduce Them To Your Friends.

This is my guy-friend? My fuck-buddy? The person I like to hang out with sometimes and have sex with but not have sex with anyone else. Yeah, that has a ring to it....

3) When You're Out And People Refer To Them As Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend.

It could be the waiter, the ticket seller in the cinema or whatever other dickhead has landed you in this awkward shit. 'Did they actually just say that? Ugh! *Avoid eye contact* 'Ohhh, look let's pretend I got a text.'

4) You Don't Want To Ask Where The Relationship Is Going.

I'm curious. I want to know are we in this for the long haul or are we just banging? But I'm too afraid to scare you away so I'll say nada and kind of hope for the best, I guess.

5) You See Them In Public When You're With Your Friends, But Aren't Sure What Greeting Will Suffice.

Do I wave? Should I run over and hug him? Do I do the European Air-kiss on the cheek thing? No, crazy, no. Half wave, put the head down and keep walking to avoid the awkward questions.

6) You Get Caught Having A Smooch In Public And People Ask What's Going On Between You Two.

For God sake, we could have just saved the mushy shit for at home, now people are prodding us with questions and to be honest, I don't know how to answer them...

7) Running Into An Ex While With Your New Squeeze And Not Knowing How To Introduce Them.

'Oh Hey! I'm doing great, this is my .... emmm... yeah this is *insert name here.*

8) Getting A Little Bit Jealous When Someone Flirts With Them, But Having No Ground To Stand On.

Who is this bitch? Why is she talking to him? *Stalks their every social media account for hours*. Oh, they're cousins? She seemed nice...

9) Either Of You Having A Birthday During This Relationship Limbo.

How do I wish them a Happy Birthday on social media? I don't know what to get them. Do I even get them something? Why is this so awkward and uncomfortable?

10) Being Suffocated By Questions Of 'So What Are You?'

I don't fucking know what we are!!! But I assure you as soon as I do, I'll bloody shout it from the rooftops and directly down to you, ok?

11) Blurting Out The L-word.

Ohhhh my god! Did I actually just say that? I didn't even mean it. Did I? I only said it because you got the pizza. Ughhhhh I want the ground to swallow me up and kill me right now.

12) Being Invited To Weddings Etc And Getting A Plus One But Not Knowing Whether To Ask Them.

I really want to ask him to this event, but we're not quite 'there' yet. I don't want to go alone, but if I do bring him, my Granny will definitely ask who he his and if he's my boyfriend. Never mind, I'll go alone as Single Sally for the night. Sad face.