Everyone Needs To See Me Dance: 23 Irrational Drunk Thoughts We All Have

"I'm not drinking tonight", said every student ever. We try and we try to avoid temptation, it's just really difficult when temptation comes up and waves its little arms in our face. It's far too easy to go from eating Jaffa cakes in your pajamas, to downing five shots of tequila in quick succession. Alcohol changes people. Sometimes for the worst, sometimes for the better and sometimes, there's just no way of telling which way it's going to go. I've often wished that I could map out my drunken thought process, as it's far more erratic, random and, if I do say so myself, exciting than my sober one. Here are 23 irrational drunk thoughts we all have;

1) I'm not even drunk yet.

2) This drink is actually unbelievably good.

3) Fairly sure I look amazing tonight.

4) This is a standard measure.

5) This person is so incredibly interesting.

6) Flirting is not cheating. Honest.

7) I could talk for hours about everything and anything that you may throw my way.

8) What if I'm more drunk than I actually think I am? Or I'm even more sober than I know I am?

9) I feel as though everyone wants to see me dance right now. I really shouldn't let people down.

10) Are people laughing at me or with me? I'm going to go with with.

11) Money is only a material thing. Tonight, it's all on me. Shots, shots, shots.

12) A nap would be nice. To the toilet it is.

13) THIS IS MY SONG!

14) This song is a piece of shit.

15) I can't keep these secrets in any longer. Everyone, gather around.

16) Tomorrow is another day. For now. More shots?

17) That was subtle flirting. He's probably still unaware of how much I love him.

18) I feel so happy, sad, horny, tired and hungry right now. I'm confused.

19) Walking on glass particles sounds good to me. Goodbye forever shoes. Until next weekend.

20) Must.climb.everything. The world is my playground and I'm just an evolved monkey.

21) Must not break the golden seal.Must.hold.it.in. Fuck you bladder.

22) Why did I just say that? It's ok, everyone has immediately forgotten it anyway I'm sure.

23) John looks sad. I think I'll set John up. It's what John would have wanted.