12 Pubs of Christmas Survival Guide

T''is the sleazon boys and girls! So rejoice, eat, sleep, drink, be merry. But doing the 12 Pubs of Christmas is a tough slog, so here are some important tips for survival..

1. Keep your route short and straight

Your sense of direction will gradually deteriorate as time goes on. You should be fine for the first few pubs, the latter stages should be pubs that are close together and don't stray down sidestreets.

 2.Make the rules less complicated as you go along

Typically, the rules go out the window at around pub 7 or 8. Rule number 9 should be just to make it to pub number 10, and so on until the end. Survival is all that matters here.1 drink in each pub should be adhered to, but other rules can be dismissed. Whatever unfolds, the journey must continue....

3. Bring an old phone that you don't care about

Thinking of bringing an expensive phone, with access to Facebook and Twitter, to this occasion? Yeah, not a great idea. What you'll need is an old Nokia 3210 that's lying around the house, with numbers from you group ONLY to contact if you get lost.

4. Soak in the shame

Things WILL get messy, and they're is no other way round it. People are going to judge you walking along the street, comparing you to neanderthals and other unmentionables.  Don't expect the usual friendliness of bartenders, and expect the usual dickishness of bouncers but at a more extreme level.