12 Unexpected Shit Things About Summer
Okay, let's cut the bullshit. Summer- it's overrated. There. I said it. I know it's easy to dream of the sun, the beach and general laziness when you're cooped up in a library trying to find at least one set of lecture notes for that module, but when it comes to it, summer is never as good as you expect. I have experienced many summers in my 20 years on this earth, and I've come to the realisation that we love to love summer. We love to count down to it, and we especially love those sunsets for a quality Insta post. We love to love summer so much, we tend to ignore how damn right shitty summer can be. Luckily for you, I'm hear to remove those rose-tinted glasses you dig out just in time for every summer:
1. The boredom.
Sure you spend the first 2-3 weeks practically moulded into your bed, that's practically necessary, and girl, you deserve it. But when you finally leave the cave that is your bed and show your face downstairs, you realise there is shit all to do. Summer is a lot more boring than we care to let on. Unless you live somewhere exciting or you have a shit load of money, the majority of your summer holiday will be spent messaging the WhatsApp group chat saying "any ideas?"
2. The return.
Summer means the end of college and more importantly, moving back home. Gives me shivers just thinking about it. Returning to the 'rents after months of surviving purely on one large take-away pizza a week and 3 stale crackers is at first a God send to your stomach. There's nothing like eating proper food that you didn't have to make yourself out of an egg and 2 slices of cheese. But then comes the truth, you're living at home. With your parents. 24/7. And then you start to wonder why you ever left your shitty little room...
3. The weather.
You think you're gonna spend half your days chilling on the beach, but really, you hide inside because of all the fucking mosquitos. And the sand. And the bites. And the sunburn. How the fuck is that better than snow?
4. The poverty.
When you're in college, you live in a land of poverty ignorance. Everyone around you is just as poor as you, but somehow you manage to get by. Then summer comes and you realise just how little there is to do without money. Nandos? Expensive as shit for a tiny bit of chicken. The pub? You would get a cheap bottle of wine for the half the price of a vodka and Coke. Going out? Who knew taxis are so damn expensive. And what else is there to do besides eat and drink?
5. The wanderlust.
Where the fuck are all these bitches getting the money to go to Thailand and Singapore and America?! While you decide what pyjamas to spend your day in, another filtered Instagram post pops up of somewhere far and exotic and way way better than wherever you are now. Not fair.
6. The work (or lack of).
Your handy little part-time, 8 hours a week job suddenly transforms into a 5 days a week kinda thing. Or, if you're like me, you end up searching the internet for some job, ANY job, to fund you through these next few months. There's no winning, eh.
7. The weight gain.
Summer is the perfect chance to meet up with your friends who you didn't really get to see during the college year, or else were avoiding. And what do you do when you meet up with people? You eat. And drink. And repeat. Remember those fab shorts you bought at the start of the year for summer? You can wave them goodbye as you tuck into your 3rd burrito of the week. #noshame
8. The scrolling.
We're all slaves to our phones, let's just face the fact. Summer is the perfect time to perfect your scrolling and creeping skills on all your potential baes for the summer.
9. The loneliness.
Danny and Sandy? How the fuck did they meet? Where is my illustrous summer romance I have been promise the last 20 years of my life? Is there something unattractive about me in my pyjamas? Guess the only summer luvin' I'll be getting will be from myself. Again.
10. The binging.
I bet Netflix sales go up every summer, as the frustration of trying to find just one goddamn good link to watch takes over (Game of Thrones I'm looking at you), Netflix becomes the safe option for some good binging options. My choice this year? The Good Wife. My reason? Will Gardner.
11. The sleeping.
Summer. Sun. Heat. If I call it a siesta does that make it better?
12. The clothes.
Yeah okay, I know the sun may be out but that doesn't mean I have to fucking drape myself in every bright colour in the rainbow. Nor am I going to Coachella anytime soon so if shops could please stop this shit and restock normal fucking clothes, so I can go about my daily without looking like a Kylie fucking Jenner impersonator, that'd be fab.
Video: 12 Annoying Struggles Girls Have Every Summer
Credit: BuzzFeedYellow