13 Things You Might Hear On Leaving Cert Results Day
Leaving Results Day is upon us in just eleven days and you're absolutely sure to hear a few of these things whilst your celebrating the relief of it all being over.
1. 'Fuck, did you hear there are gonna be news cameras at the school?'
There might be a couple of journalists trying to get a few snaps of people hugging and crying. Tell them you got 90 points but you're hoping for second round medicine.
2. 'So... did you get what you wanted?'
This is the polite way of saying 'What did you get?'. Eh... fuck off?
3. 'Did you hear Sarah's parents aren't letting her go out cause she was 10 points off medicine?'
Rumours; rumours will be rampant. Leave people and their points alone.
4. 'The Institute is actually gonna be graaand next year, loads of people I know are repeating.'
Whatever happens, there will be literally hundreds of people who are in the same boat as you. It's never as bad as it might seem at first.
5. 'Ok, fuck, fuck, fuck, Aoife lost her ticket for tonight, will I get my Mum to call yer man?'
Aoife, don't worry. You will get in.
6. 'Right, so I'm getting 4 Smirnoff Ice, a shoulder, 2 Kopparberg and 3 Bulmers I think... do you reckon that's enough?'
Yes! By all means celebrate. But what makes you think that because it's a special occasion your body can all of a sudden take more alcohol than usual? It can't. It's the same body you've always had. Stick to the measures you're used to and you won't end up like this.
7. 'Ok, Mark left his ID on the bus so we have to do a passback.'
Or you could get your Mum to bring you up to the bouncer? I'm sure she wouldn't mind.
8. 'Here, Katie's not gonna get past the bouncers in that state and to be honest, I'm not waiting outside for her. It's my results night too.'
Ah, the loyalty test. If someone hasn't taken the advice of #5, older siblings are always a good shout to call. Until you get through to someone though, don't leave anyone alone.
9. 'Luke spilled fucking Jäger on my dress, I've been planning this for months, what the FUCK!'
Calm yourself. Soda water.
10. 'Oh my God this is like the last time we'll ever be out together'
No, it is simply not. It's Ireland. You will literally see these people all the time.
11. 'I'm gonna try and score Emma tonight. In fairness, it's pretty much my last chance'
In fairness, it's not your last chance but go for it. It's an energy filled night that's full of possibility. Awww.
12. 'FIGHT!'
Keep clear of any fights and try and stay out of them. Inevitable on a night filled with so much emotion but leave it to the bouncers.
