20 Things Girls Only Learn From Having An Older Sister
Growing up with sisters you are in a constant battle. God help your poor parents when you both hit puberty because that's when all Hell breaks loose and eventually you are at each others throats 24/7. But darkness is always before the dawn and all of a sudden you find that you actually have a best friend right on your doorstep! Here are the best things about having an older sister. This still doesn't give you permission to use my bedroom as an extension of yours...
1. Always Choose Between Showing Legs Or Your Chest. Never Both.
I was saved a lot of heartache because of this advice. This a lie of course because I in fact chose to ignore this advice and now I am forever haunted by certain pictures from various youth discos.
2. When Make Up is Too Much Make Up
Lips or eyes. You are a lady, not a lady of the night.
3. No One Will Ever Have Your Back Quite Like Your Sister
They don't care who the person is. If someone messes with their little sister, you are f*cked. Better than an older brother aswell because they can be bitchy too!
4. Your First Break Up Won't Be Your Last
You might have felt like the world was ending when you were no longer each others other halves on BEBO. However not only is your sister there to help you through this difficult time, she is there to let you know that it will happen again and again but she will always be by your side through it all.
5. She Will be the Kick in the Ass You Need
Nobody can ground you like an older sister. You think you're the shit? Before you came along they ruled this joint. They will always be happy for you and they will be the ones who are cheering the loudest but when you need it they are there to bring you back down to earth.
6. The Pill
The spooky contraceptive pill. An older sister is like a cushion between this difficult topic and your mother. She will always help smooth out any situation.
7. Willies
Agh the willy. Coming from a house of girls I wasn't sure what a penis actually was. Your older sister won't let you make the same mistakes she made. She will give you advice that you just don't get in Sex Education. No questions are taboo.
8. Respect For Yourself
Your sister will never let you doubt the person you are and will never let you settle for anything less then you deserve. Even though it might be her worst nightmare, she is the one to let you know it's OK that you would much prefer to have a Star Wars Marathon instead of Americas Next Top Model. As long as it doesn't clash with the Keeping Up with the Kardashians reruns, you can do whatever you want. She will set your little weirdo soul free.
9. Music
At a time when DJ Boonie was unstoppable, my sister was there with the Beatles, Bob Dylan and Newton Faulkner. She is the one that will teach you there is not just the music you hear on MTV.
10. 2nd Wardrobe
Any time you're sporting a new top or dress, it will more then likely have come from your very own Boutique called, 'I found it in my sisters room.' Arguments ensue by you insisting that she gave it to you ages ago, or that it simply came in with your laundry so it must be yours.
11. How to Leave a Row with No Real Winner
You will never have a fight like you do with your sister. It becomes less of a row and more of a competition of who can bring their voice to a level where only dogs can hear you. They may be often but they never last for long. You get whatever you need out of your system. You will always love her, you just don't have to liker her on occasion.
12. You Learn How to be Competitive
There will always be a bit of competition with sisters, especially when you're younger but after a while you learn how to be a gracious loser in some aspects and you become comfortable in your own roles.
13. She Knows How to Make You Laugh
No one can make you laugh uncontrollably like your sister can. Meanwhile your mother will wait quietly in the corner like a nervous wreck because she knows it will only end in tears.
14. She is the Most Honest Person In Your Life
If you look like shit she will be more then happy to tell you but she will also have an alternate outfit waiting on the sideline.
15. You Were her Doll Growing Up
So she shouldn't be surprised when you copy her from time to time.
16. She'll Teach You How to be Bitchy
No one can teach you the art of bitchiness quite like your sister.
17. You Always had a Fake I.D
You didn't have to go at your provisional license with a sharpie. You had the real thing, even if it wasn't you. You also learned how to snatch and run if the bouncer got suspicious and tried to confiscate it.
18. Matching Clothes
When you were five, it was cute and adorable. However she was a few years older, she hated every second of it. It's probably why she threw a few unearned slaps your way from time to time.
19. You Have Your Very Own Cheer Squad
They will encapsulate your own mother by being the most embarrassing cheer leader imaginable. They will be right up at the front making you feel like you are the centre of the universe. Even though you secretly love it, remember it's just for one day, shit will go back to normal tomorrow so don't even think about taking her perfume after today...