21 Things You Should Never Ask A College Student

We might look like adults, but secretly we're still children in disguise. We shy away from responsibility (and daylight mostly), we're poor, we eat crap and we make horribly bad decisions. But don't worry we'll make it there eventually so there's no need whatsoever (EVER) to ask us these questions:

1. So what kind of job do you want after college?

Hopefully something that doesn't make me want to vomit when I think about it. Like the way college does.

2. How's life?

It's shit, that's what it is.

3. How did your exams go?

*sticks fingers in ears* BLAH BLAH CAN'T HEAR YOU.

4. Why are you putting vodka in your cereal...?

Wait, that's not a thing?

5. Got any assignments to do?

STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU, BLAH.

6. Are you enjoying college?

It's about as much fun as checking my bank balance. So in other words when I think about it, I cry.

7. You wear pyjamas to lectures..?

Again, this isn't a thing??

8. Do you have a part time job?

I'm currently looking into prostitution, but I'm keeping my options open.

9. You're having pizza?? Again??

Sure it's been lying here for two days, and the floor isn't that clean but hey, pizza is never bad, right?

10. Do you like your roommates?

Only when I'm imagining them on fire.

11. Can I borrow some money?

*Stares* What is that again?

12. Don't you have class right now?

Probably. Is there a point to that question?

13. Are you going to finish that?

YES. I'm ALWAYS going to finish my food, or my drinks so NO you can't have any. *starts growling*

14. Why are you hiding under your bed?

I'm hiding from my responsibilities.

15. Are you worried about getting a job after college?

STOP. STOP FOREVER.

16. What will you do with your degree?

Use it as hamster bedding probably. Or roll it up and kill a spider with it. I'm planning great things.

17. It's a Wednesday, how are you drunk?

.... Oops?

18. Do you go out a lot?

I'm poor, I suffer from social anxiety and I'm addicted to Netflix. So in short, only when there's alcohol present.

19. Are you in a relationship?

Yep. It's pretty serious. *cough*

20. What's your favourite lecture?

What is that again?? OH, that thing with the guy in the suit that talks a lot? Like super early?

21. What do you mean you hate all of them?

Yeah...