27 Things You Undoubtedly Heard This Weekend

How was your weekend? Which extreme was it? You see as college students we have no in between. It's either two days of being completely and utterly pissed out of our brains, ruining our lives and ensuring that our diet for the week ahead will cost a grand total of nine euro, or it's drier than a night out with the local clergy. Sitting at home, fat clothes on, bored off your tits, FOMO running rife through your brain. Whatever it was that your weekend entailed, here are 27 things that you undoubtedly heard. Only five more days to go people...

1) Thank fuck it's the weekend.

2) Meet me at the bar.

3) I'm not drinking this weekend.

4) I'm getting shitfaced this weekend.

5) Any chance of a loan?

6) I really can't go out.

7) I really shouldn't go out.

8) I'd fucking better get the ride this weekend.

9) What can we do besides drink today?

10) I think I'm dying. Fuck you for making me go out. This is all your fault.

11) Who the hell is Mike? Mike...Should I text him anyway?

12) I did WHAT?

13) Why am I covered in bruises?

14) No Mother, I'm not hungover just...tired...

15) Hold me. Tighter.

16) I feel so empty on the inside. Please feed me. Please?

17) What do you mean you're staying in? Cop on now.

18) Why did I stay in? I really need to get my shit together.

19) Stop drunk texting me. Please. I do not understand what you're saying.

20) So, guess what happened to me last night? Oh and by the way, you're coming to the chemist with me.

21) Am...Who are you?

22) Guess who I did last night?

23) I'm turning off my phone. Nothing or nobody will tempt me out tonight.

24) My parents have a better social life than I do.

25) I can't feel my skull today.

26) You were so funny last night!

27) If anyone needs me I'll be curled up in a ball hoping to die.

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