6 Reasons Why Househunting In Dublin Is A Nightmare

Househunting in Dublin is a soul-destroying experience. Anyone who has tried to find a place in Dublin will tell you that getting your fingernails ripped out would be preferable. For those who are considering moving to Dublin or are just plain curious about it, here at the 6 reasons why househunting here is a complete and utter nightmare.

1) Rent Is Insanely Expensive

Unless you're essentially prostituting yourself out, rent is going to be a problem. It's nearly back at the levels it was during the boom, despite the fact that wages just aren't, and of course the government doesn't give a flying fuck.

2) No New Development

"Build 'em fast and hope for the best," was the developers' motto during the boom. Well, look at how that ended. Now, due to the lack of housing development, there is a real shortage of accommodation in the city, so whenever something becomes available there's a tonne of competition for one room, meaning...

3) It's A Popularity Contest

With massive numbers of people responding to a single room advert, landlords have their pick of potential tenants. Suddenly it's not just about finding someone who can pay the bills, but they also want a career-orientated, obsessive compulsive cleaner who they can be BFFs with, meaning you have to make an awesome impression on the landlord and flatmates on your first meeting. When you find yourself vying against hundreds of candidates for one room, you come to realise it's probably easier to get through the first round of the X Factor... Or at least The Voice of Ireland.

4) Documentation

You're gonna need to get your documentation shit in order, people. You need references from your former landlords, copies of your current job contract, and a blessing from Pope Francis himself. Okay, maybe not that last one.

5) Girls Only

Good news for the gals: most landlords want girls! Bad news for the guys: most landlords want girls. You will scroll through many a promising room advert just to get the old LOOKING FOR GIRLS ONLY stinger at the end. Man, we get screwed over in insurance and accommodation. It ain't fair I'll tells ya.

6) Close-Mindedness

I wouldn't go so far as to say it's racism, but some landlords do express a wish that they only want Irish people in their place, just to avoid the effort of having to deal with problems of language or cultural differences. Which is why they often won't even respond to these people's emails. My advice? If you're from abroad, don't mention it until you get to view the place.

So, for any of you unfortunates out there who are hoping to find a place in Dublin...