The 7 Phases of Housemate Relationships

Moving in with new people is ALWAYS terrifying. Whether it's with friends, people you know vaguely, or strangers. There's always that 'what if they start to hate me?' notion in the back of your mind. Usually it turns out fine, so don't worry. Here are the 7 phases of housemate relationships.

1. The Overthinking Phase:

This is the phase that we all dread. In the days coming up to moving into a new apartment there are always thoughts in the back of your mind. But walking in the door of the house, they all come at once: "Will they be weird? Will they be tidy? What if they hate my de-humidifier? What if they hate me? What if they don't drink? Will I be comfortable not wearing a bra around them? What if they try to kill me while I'm sleeping? Will they get angry if (when) I eat their food? What if I'M the weird one?"

2. The Awkward Phase:

You've met your housemates and they're cool. They're not psycho killers, one of them offered you a Twix the second you walked in the door, and there's plenty of empty vodka bottles around the kitchen. This is gonna be OK. But it's still kinda awkward. You don't really know whether to talk to them in the mornings or if they'll hate that. You want to get a takeaway but you're not sure whether to text them from your room or go into theirs. When you decide to go to their room, you wait outside the door for a little while contemplating whether to knock or would that be weird? Basically, everything's just a lil tentative.. like you're walking on eggshells.

3. The Drunk-Bonding Phase:

The Number One way to bond with people you barely know: drink. You'll become funnier, they'll become more interesting, and you'll make memories together. Secrets alllllways come out when drinking is involved, and that's what brings people closer. You'll wake up the next morning with an excuse to run into your housemates room. "Shit I lost my purse," or "do you have any painkillers?" So next time you're struggling to connect with someone, spike their drink with 3 more drinks, I'm sure they'll like you then.

4. The Honeymoon Phase:

After bonding with your housemates, they become your favourite people ever. Nothing that they do will annoy or bother you. You share food, you binge watch Netflix together, and you have Tinder parties (drinking wine, whilst on Tinder, whilst listening to Demi Lovato - Confident.) All in all, you're having a great time and your housemates are the best people on earth, they can do no wrong. They are perfect, just like you.

5. The Annoyance Phase:

Little things that they do begin to irritate you. You JUST cleaned the kitchen last night, how is it when you wake up in the morning it's an absolute mess? You told them that you had an exam at 9 in the morning, STILL they decide to have pre-drinks at your house. You can hear literally everything through the wall and don't get to sleep until they leave for Coppers at like 2am. But you keep your cool. No good will come from shouting at them. But one morning, you hear them shouting when you're trying to sleep in, and you just FLIP. Rolling out of your bed, braless and brazen, you give them a piece of your mind.

6. The Communication Phase:

After you shout at them, it gets quite tense around the house. They mumble that they're sorry and you go back to your bed. The tension is at an all time high later on that day... Until someone brings it up and makes a joke. Soon you're all laughing about it and you realise it's ok to tell them to quieten down or clean up. Suddenly life is so much simpler. If someone is being loud, you can tell them to shut up. If they're leaving the place dirty, you can tell them to clean it. If someone is bringing home too many boys, you give her some friendly guidance. "Calm down, Mary." That's friendship at its best.

7. The Family Phase:

Your housemates then finally morph into a combination of your alarm clock, therapist, drinking partner, best friend, enemy, best friend again, personal chef, giver-of-panadol, pizza delivery man, holder-of-hair-when-you-are-puking, mother, father, daughter and dog. If I had to narrow it down to one word, I'm pretty sure it would be family.