8 Things You Need To Survive A Hangover In Work
1) A Good Excuse
Email your boss with an extremely lacklustre excuse. Explain that you will be in at 10 AM, as opposed to 9 today. Nothing more, nothing less, never get caught in your lie.
2) Sunglasses
Shield your eyes from that awful, bright sun. Why do we need a sun anyway? Doesn’t it know that you were out all night and your eyes had just gotten adjusted to the dark. Sunglasses will also save you from any of your coworkers seeing your lazy, tired eyes and hitting you with one of their original zingers like, “looks like somebody had a rough night.” Leave the glasses on and let your eyes close for a quick cat nap.
3) Breakfast Roll
Arrive at work with your favourite breaky roll in hand... 2 eggs 2 sausage 2 bacon 2 rasher (same thing as bacon right)
4) Drink Up
Sure, Gatorade, Powerade and Vitamin Water are supposed to be for active athletic types…but, for the rest of us out there, these drinks are amazing for getting us hydrated. Fast. Make sure to stock up on these on your desk. No one will think you’re the least bit hungover.... Not at all.
5) Headphones are Key
Headphones are key in blocking out the bullshit of the day. Put on your chillest playlist and try your hardest to not fall asleep at your desk.
6) Pass Your Work Off to Interns
If you have interns, a super hungover day is the best possible one to implement them. Any and all work that you have should be passed off to these poor suckers, the second you realize you have any. Let them work on spreadsheets while you contemplate the horrors you've wrought on your body.
7) Frequent Bathroom Breaks
This one is truly key to making it through the day. Take anywhere from 10 to 20 bathroom breaks. Think of the bathroom stall as the 9 to 5ers’ sanctuary: valuable time alone where you can hide away from the cruel working world.
8) Leaving Work Early Is Key
You’ve exhausted all outlets that could make your day go by quickly, but there is still an hour left of work. Now it’s time to take immediate action! Scan the office and know exactly where your boss is. When your boss turns their back or heads to the bathroom, MAKE YOUR MOVE! Slip out of the office unnoticed. You deserve it after five miserable hours of staring at a computer screen.