29 Chat Up Lines That Will Never Fail

Starting a conversation with a woman can be hard. They're scary people, with their high heels and boobs and overall general attractiveness, and trying to talk to one for the first time can be a daunting prospect. But I'm here to tell you that you don't have to live in fear of the opposite sex any longer. Use any one of these chat up lines and you will be guaranteed a first date, regardless of where you are; a bar, the library, even creepily waiting for her outside her bedroom window.

"You must be a small amount of red phosphorus and I must be a tiny wooden stick… Because we're a match."

"Even if there were no gravity on Earth, I'd still fall for you."

"I usually go for 8's but I guess I'll settle for a 10."

"Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers."

"I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way."

"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material."

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes."

"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?"

"Do you live in a corn field? Because I'm stalking you."

"Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty."

"My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U."

"You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pick up line."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"Do you know what's on the menu? Me-n-u."

"Do I know you? Because you look an awful lot like my next girlfriend."

"People call me John, but you can call me tonight."

"I think there's something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off you."

"It's a good thing I wore my gloves today. Otherwise, you'd be too hot to handle."

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice."

Are you Irish? Because when I look at you, my penis is Dublin."

"Is it okay if  I stay here until it's safe to go back to where I farted?"

"My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just can't hold it in."

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see."

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."

"Are you from Iraq? Because I like the way you Baghdad ass up."

"Are you an archaeologist? Because I've got a bone for you to examine."

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don't have a Ferrari."

And of course, saving the best for last....

"There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."

Start using these chat-up lines, and your love life will improve in no time.