Chinstraps, Sideburns And Soul Patches: The History of Facial Hair
It's de rigueur for dudes to wear facial hair these days. But what we're seeing today is nothing new. Oh no, the facial hairstyles we know and love were once pioneered by true visionaries. Here is the history of facial hair, punctuated by its greatest achievements. The only notable facial hairstyle missing is the goatee, which, as we all know, was invented by the Devil himself.
1)The Grizzly Adams
Named after its mountain man creator, it's the granddaddy of all beards. Worn like the proud mane of a fierce lion.
2) The Chinstrap
Abraham Lincoln was not only a pioneer of democracy, he was also a pioneer of facial hair.
3) The Mutton chop
Originally popularised by American Civil War General Ambrose Everett Burnside (useless fact: the sideburn was named after this dude) and his glorious mutton chops, today it is sported by Hugh Jackman's rugged alter-ego, Wolverine.
4) The Square 'Stache
Popularised by the silent movie star Charlie Chaplin, moustache aficionados thought the square 'stache would be around forever. I wonder what happened to it...
5) Twirly 'Stache
The surrealist artist Salvador Dalí rocked the world of facial hair with this bad boy, demonstrating that moustaches aren't just sex magnets, but also potentially hysterical.
6) Sideburns
Elvis shocked the world with his thrusting pelvis and revolutionary rock'n'roll, but he also excited women worldwide with his untameable locks.
7) Soul Patch
The emblem of the Beatnik generation and by no means creepy, the soul patch was initiated by Frank Zappa as a way to keep the bit of chin beneath his lip warm.
8) Designer Stubble
George Michael was the genius who not only made it OK for lazy people not to shave, he made it sexy. God bless that womanising machine...
9) The Handlebar
Hulk Hogan remains an inspiration to male pornstars around the globe to this day.
10) The Tom Selleck
The plain old moustache, so elegant in its simplicity.
11) The Conchita Wurst
Since last year's EuroVision, this particular style has left heterosexuals of both genders with some very confusing feelings.