What You Googled Counsellor: How To Prevent Catching Feelings
In the day to day running of College Times we get to see how people from all corners of the web interact with the site. One aspect we are privy to are the keywords that lead users to our articles.
Some are hilarious, some are sad, and some just don't make any sense. Here's a taste of the kind of things that pop up on a daily basis:
So yeah, one of the most entertaining parts of the work day is having a good auld rummage through the keywords.
But then we thought hey, seeing as we're getting so much enjoyment from these keywords we should be giving something back. Thus, 'What You Googled Counsellor' was born.
Our first edition of this (hopefully regular) segment concerns a keyword which read: How to prevent catching feelings.
So here's how:
1) Catch feelings once when you're a child and get it over with. Then you'll be immune to catching feelings when you're an adult. If you wait until you're an adult to catch feelings then be warned, the effects are much worse. You might never recover.
2) Live in a plastic bubble which does not let feelings either escape or enter your environment.
3) Already have too many feelings, so it's literally impossible to catch anymore. Be full up with feelings, so full that you could chunder your feelings all over the floor at any given time.
4) Have your feelings removed in a surgical procedure. If you really want to significantly lower the risk of catching feelings you can have them removed surgically. The operation isn't that pricy, though it will cost you your soul. Having your feelings removed is also covered by the HSE
5) Get a feelings vaccination. Pop down to your local feelings clinic and get the shot. The doctor will inject you with a little bit of feelings and you might feel a tad emotional for a while, but soon your immune system will kill the feelings and you can continue to live as an empty husk of a human.