Crisps; The List From Worst To Best
You might claim not to be a 'crisp person', you might genuinely not enjoy them, but everyone has an opinion when it comes down to it. Does it come anywhere close to the opinion of others?
17. Skips
You're either a love or a hater of these weird prawn cocktail, flower shaped nuggets. They're the losers of the crisp world, melting in your mouth like they haven't got the balls to stick around. Quivering away, dissolving in fear. Eating a skip is pretty much like eating 30 pieces of prawn flavoured holy communion. Sick. But some people like them... so it would be wrong to exclude.
16. Banshee Bones
The wrapper is dark and ominous and the name is pretty fucked up considering a Banshee is a female spirit from Irish mythology. These are her bones. These salt and vinegar delights just made the list but are a firm favourite when trick or treating... Which is acceptable at any age as long as you're in fancy dress.
15. Hot Lips
These babies were the big dogs in the yard in primary school but have since dispersed to the quieter counties of Ireland resulting in them being a novelty when miraculously found. Hot lips were 'nice 'n' spicy and the bag was almost full to the brim. Sexy.
14. Kettle
The first 'posh crisps' to make it onto the list, these show people that you've really brought out the big guns. With no added MSG, artificial flavours or colours, these are pretty much just expensively flavoured fried potatoes.
13. Pringles
We know what your thinking; are they a crisp? If so, shouldn't they be higher on the list? We don't have the answers to these important questions that are among many more we're sure that are running through your mind. Pringles are Pringles, while they never spark excitement, they are still a crowd pleaser. And because of the amount of MSG in these bad boys, once you pop, it really is very difficult to stop.
12. Keogh's Shamrock
Ah Keogh's, the Irish home grown delights. You really can't get more patriotic than eating a packet of Keogh's Shamrock crisps while singing Avicii As Gaeilge.
11. McCoys
The REAL McCoys, as in... 'MAN'S CRISPS'. The Yorkie of the crisp world, these really are a heavy duty snack, probably too heavy for women to lift in fairness.
10. Doritos
Doritos. They're awkward to eat and over flavoured but people froth over them for some reason. Can be painful to consume, approach with caution.
9. Monster Munch
Munch... Absolutely key for munch. Munchies. Muchalicious. When you have the "hunger" of a "monster". When you have the...MUCHies. Also, great when you're baked.
8. Meanies
It's not just the pickled onion tangy deliciousness that make these corn snacks so endearing, its the fact that they used to sell for 5p and they're shaped like claws.
7. Hula Hoops
Put them on your fingers and make a game of it! Not only are these crisps highly entertaining to play with, they also taste quality and are great mixed with a bowl of popcorn (it happened at birthday parties and it just worked).
6. Hunky Dorys
These crisps are always the ones you pick up along side your chicken fillet roll when you're hungover to fuck and you need as many carbohydrates in your body as possible. A solid choice.
5. Tayto or King?
Ah the Tayto or King debate. We had to put these two at the same ranking because, let's be honest, they're very similar compared to some of the other wild cards on this list. Cheese & Onion flavoured crisps that you got with your Club Orange in the pub when you were a kid while your parents told you to go and play with your weird cousins. There's a nostalgia attached to both of these brands that isn't going to fade away any time soon. Long live Kingato.
4. Sensations
They're new(ish), they're fancy and their flavours are off the charts. Roast Chicken crisps? Yes. Sweet Chile? Hell yes.
3. Discos
There is something about Discos that's so unique, the 3rd place ranking is totally justified. These crisps are pretty much as far away from an actual potato as you can get but fuck... they're outstanding.
2. Waffles
Buy a bag of waffles, open them in company and what do you hear 'Aw, can I have one? Fuck, I actually love these' Really? Get your own. People seem to forget how much they love these waffle shaped ovals of pleasure. Don't be a meanie, buy your own waffles and enjoy.
1. Bacon Fries
Yes. They are number one. Go anywhere around the world and you will not be able to find bacon fries quite like the ones we're luckily enough to get here. Americans have been known to pack their suitcases to the brim with these little bags of heaven, smuggling them across boarders George Jung style. They taste and look like bacon, need there be another reason?
