Distance & Differences: Reasons Friendships Fall Apart

After a few months in college, you might find yourself drifting away from your school/childhood friends. It happens. Throughout our lives, we drift apart from and closer to different people at different stages. Unfortunately, we can't just take everyone with us on our life's path. It doesn't mean you love them any less. In fact, the encounters at Christmas and during the summer are the best. You might not see each other for months but, when you do, you'll spend hours catching up, because you still care about them enormously. Or maybe you've drifted apart because you've both changed and you don't work as friends anymore. This is often for the best. One day, you could just wake up and not recognise your BFF anymore. Maybe you just weren't meant to be friends forever. Here are a few reasons why some friendships might fall apart...

1) People Change

We drift apart. Before you start college, you might not be sure about who you really are. You might go through different personalities like you try on clothes. Also, there are fewer people back home than there are in college, so you gravitate towards those you feel most comfortable around. They might not have been your forever friends. In college, you'll discover what you're into and what sort of person you are. New friends will emerge who will become your forever friends. You'll develop more interests, meet more people and may or may not grow apart from your old friends. But remember, the same thing is happening with them. Neither of you is replacing the other, you've just found better fits for yourselves.

2) People Move

They say "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but they also say "out of sight out of mind". Whether it's you or your friend who makes the move, your friendship might just fade away, unless it's strong enough to handle the distance. New people and new experiences sometimes obscure the old familiar ones. We are an adaptable species, we take what we get. If you're in a new place, you don't want to focus on what you've left behind, but rather what's ahead. Making new friends is a priority. Obviously your old friends matter to you, but you rarely see each other. You might realise you've both changed too much and just don't match anymore. It sucks, but it's not earth-shatteringly awful. You have other friends and so do they.

3) You're At Different Stages In Life

Maybe they're going out a lot and drinking their memories away and you've started to focus more on your degree instead. They might call you boring and you might call them loose. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out and you're both better off because of it. Bickering matches can escalate and you might come to the conclusion that you don't fit into each other's lives anymore, but that's okay. You can still care for them and keep up with them on Facebook, but maybe you just weren't meant to be besties for your whole lives.

4) Conflicting Schedules

This does not bode well for friendships based solely on convenience, without anything in common or any emotional attachment. This situation is similar to one friend moving away, you either make a concerted effort to see each other or you don't! It might be that their course is time-consuming or they're working nights, and you just never see each other anymore. It can be sad when relationships fall apart this way. In this situation, you always agree to meet up when you do run into each other, even though you both know you never will. It's sad, but maybe the timing just isn't right...

5) All-Consuming Love Affairs

This is one of the most annoying ways to lose a friend, and it happens quite often. When one of your friends falls into the deep hole that is Love, sometimes they take a while to resurface. By the time they do, their friends have often moved on. If you see one of your friends is about to do this, remind them that you miss them, or let them off into their world of blissful love and ignorance. Who knows, they could marry their new love and never hang out with you again. When your friend drops you for a relationship, it sucks. It causes resentment and jealousy and feelings of neglect and rejection. Here's hoping they don't break up and get left all alone...

6) Toxic Bitches

These ones aren't even worth your time. You might have loved their bitchiness when you were younger but now, their criticism is pulling you down. They are so insecure, they lash out at you to make themselves feel better. A one-time It Girl in school, now just one of a thousand other random girls in college - some narcissists just can't take it. They don't deserve your time. You should only ever hang out with people whose company you genuinely enjoy, who don't judge you and your life choices. Drop the toxic bitches and don't be sad to see them go, you can do better.