If Your Favourite Drink Could Talk

If your favourite drink could talk back to you... What would it say?

Tea:

"I think you should sit down now, put your feet up and flick on Friends. It's the one with Ross and the leather pants. I know you know it line for line but feck it, you've had a hard old day now and you need to relax. What we really need here with us is a few toffee pops or hob nobs."

Coffee:

"You need to get your fucking game face on here, I don't know why you stayed up AGAIN to watch more episodes of Mad Men when you KNEW you'd be wrecked this morning. There's only so much bloody work I can do. Idiot."

Powerade:

"I was created for athletes not alco's. You're damaging my rep every time you drag yourself into the shop, big hungover head on you, and walk out holding me. Put me down and give me to a rugby player!"

Wine:

"Yes, you've been waiting to say this all week and just one cool glass of me and the words flow from you like water. Don't hold anything back now, you're right, she was a total bitch and that comment was soooo passive aggressive. I think you should text him, he wants to hear from you he's just playing hard to get. Update your facebook status there, something cool like 'Let the weekend begin woop woop' - that will defo get a few likes. Add in a selfie sure, you really do look fantastic"

Vodka Red Bull:

"Let's go dance, you LOVE this song and those MOVES ARE AMAZING! Let's go outSIDE for a CIGARETTE and talk to ALL THE PEOPLE!

Fist PUMP fist PUMP FIST PUMP! Let's never let this night end WHERE IS THE AFTER PARTY?

Mojito:

"You look cool, those shades suit you and you smell like a minty dream. You have so much money you can afford to buy drinks that are 90% ice and leaves."

Whiskey:

"Yeah, you're right, you're fucking right - that guy is staring at your girlfriend. Do you know what you need to do? I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to get up, walk over there, tap him on the shoulder, look him sqare in the face, and ask him what the FUCK he's looking at. He's leaving you no choice. If it comes to it, you will fight and YOU WILL WIN"

Beer:

"It's been a long day, you just want to chill out, listen to some good music and relax. Fuck it, you deserve it."

Bulmers:

Do you know what would be really fun? Taking off all our clothes and going swimming in the sea.