11 Things You Only Eat When You're Drunk
No matter how drunk you are, everything on this list will be incredibly appetising. We've all found ourselves sitting on the side of the street in the early hours munching on one of these yummy dishes, but Jesus, I wouldn't touch any of these sober... well maybe not the chicken fillet roll.
11. 3-in-1
The magical combination of chips, curry and rice is simply irresistible on the journey home from a gaf. The spice from this delicious dish will have you chugging down a gallon of water, which will also hydrate your body thus preventing a hangover, who knew multitasking drunk could be so rewarding.
10. Kebabs
In the blurry mist of the smoking area you are hit with an epiphany, among the red lights from the heaters you only see what appears to be a doner kebab calling your name. "Oh my god... WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?" you think to yourself. The next ten minutes will be spent wandering around gathering disciples to follow you on a pilgrimage to Abrakebabra to indulge in the heavenly delight that is a bit filthy kebab... extra red onion please.
9. A Sneaky McDonald's
It's 4am and time to go home. But not according to your starving mates who insist on getting a Big Mac meal. Stay strong you tell yourself, you've only been eating well and have been working your ass off in the gym for the last month! I was not give into my drunken temptation... not. You convince your mouth not to tell your stomach what is about to happen before devouring a double bacon cheese burger meal... sure fuck it.
8. Garlic Cheese Chips
This delicacy was believed to be a favourite among the Irish heroes such as Michael Collins and Dustin the Turkey. In fact it is tradition that the future heroes of Ireland attend the local chip van before dawn in order to receive this mighty dish. Nothing feels as good as licking the garlic sauce off your chin only to use your hands to eat the remains. At least that's how it feels after 10 pints and a few jagerbombs.
7. Chicken Fillet Roll
On what occasion is a chicken fillet roll not the best thing ever to happen to your taste buds. A student classic. Eating a chicken fillet roll after a messy night is like going home sick and having your Mammy looking after you. You just feel so much comfort, love and security from this log of bread and chicken, at that moment in time, it's the best decision you've ever made.
6. Burritos
Food sent from the Gods really. Who doesn't love an influx of wrapped goodness at 3am? Plus if burritos are good during the day, imagine how good they are after a few gargles. It's got everything you need, meat, beans, veggies and shit, even some extra guacamole if you haven't spent all your dosh on shots.
5. Dodgy Pizza
God knows how long it's been there for, but it looks divine and my stomach is crying out for some pizza lovin. After convincing yourself that there is no shame in spending 6 quid on a slice of pepperoni pizza you dig into the slice of life. Finding yourself begging for more afterwards, annoyed you couldn't wait until you got home to order domino's. When will you ever learn?
4. Take Everything In The Kitchen & Throwing Into A Frying Pan
Got some bacon, some eggs, some potato salad, baked beans, some pasta and I don't what that is but sure fuck it, in it goes. As your whipping up this feast for a king you start drueling over your own creation, before debating going on Masterchef, as you'll obviously rock the competition.
3. Eddie Rockets
Once you get past trying to read the menu and keeping your eyes open, you'll be on your way to the drunken equivalent of a 5 star meal. Half n half chips and onion rings are your salvation in this stage of intoxication.
2. An Entire Tub Of Gone Off Hummus
This may just have been me. But who hasn't drunkenly taken a gander in their fridge after a night on the town, and decided... now that's a good idea. "Sure it only went off two days ago, be grand", it could have been a jar of jam or a wheel of cheese, it doesn't matter once you have the idea planted into your squishy brain. Sidenote: it wasn't grand, I vomited.
1. Taco Fries
Mother of grease, get in my belly. Taco fries aren't considered the classiest cuisine ever to grace our taste buds, but god damn are they good when you're pissed. The mighty mixture of mince, fries, cheese and taco sauce has you feeling live angels are dancing in your mouth when realistically you're in a semi-comatose state, with the taxi driver shouting at you to stop spilling your mince everywhere. Haters gon hate.
Om.