How to Get Drunk & Maintain Your Dignity

Going drinking is a hazardous task at the best of times. Keeping it all together while downing liters of the stuff has to be one of the most difficult things to do as a young person, we just don't have the self control...

Go out In suitable attire

…ALL suitable attire

Pre-Drink Responsibly

…continue to drink responsibly for the remainder of the night

Have a semi-sober and sensible friend by your side at all times

Avoid the dancefloor

If you can’t avoid the dancefloor, avoid grinding, humping or ‘getting jiggy’

Don’t reapply your lipstick – you will end up looking like the joker

It’s probably best to avoid reapplying all make up products while intoxicated

Swap a Lil Wayne impersonation for something a little classier

Don’t let anyone talk you into smoking

Have philosophical conversations with old friends

Don’t even try to convince anyone that you’re sober

Don’t run with heels on

Don’t speak to your ex, don’t even look at your ex or you will end up looking like this

…or doing this.

Fall with grace, regain game face.

Engage in small talk before you ‘lob the gob’

Suppress the vomit at all costs

Keep it in your pants!

Don’t wander off into the night

Eat your food with cutlery, even plastic cutlery! There is nothing worse that waking up the following morning with curry sauce under your nails.

Return to YOUR OWN house.

Await the hangover.

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