The Do's and Don'ts Of Being A Good Wingman

There's more to being a good wingman than just taking one for the team. It's more than just being a sound bloke helping his mate out. If you want to really excel in the art, take a look at how it should be done:

Do:

Be as charming as humanly possible. Be funny and likeable so that it makes your friend look like he's a funny and likeable person who hangs around with funny and likeable people.

Don't:

Steal the girl. Obviously.

Do: 

Occupy her friends. Don't be boring: "Soooo, what do you do?". You don't have to occupy her friends; you know what I mean? Take their hand, dance with them, do whatever you can to take their attention away from their friend.

Don't:

As I said, be a boring c**t. How do you expect to get her friend's attention to turn to you if you're boring them to tears with your small talk? That won't work.

Do:

Everything in your power to get your mate the ride. Leave no stone unturned. Something I like to do is to fake a marriage ceremony and have the "bride and groom", i.e. your mate and THE girl, kiss each other at the end. It's light-hearted and a bit of craic, but it's also memorable and you can get her friends involved without them wondering why all the attention is focused on THE girl.

Don't:

Focus all your attention on your friend and the girl he's trying to pull. The best thing you can do, for a friend who's comfortable talking to girls, is to open the conversation and facilitate some flirting while occupying her friends.

Remember that a good wingman will have his sterling work in the field of nurturing love and casual sex reimbursed by his friend, who should recognise what his mate is doing for him and want to return the favour.