How Not To Destroy Your Reputation At The Office Work Party

Whether you’re looking forward to your work Christmas party or dreading it, here are a few helpful tips to make sure you are the star of your work shin dig and can go into the office the next day without the plague of THE FEAR gnawing at your hung over greasy roots.

It’s better to be over dressed than underdressed

There is nothing worse than showing up to a black tie work party wearing a tuxedo tshirt. I’m not saying go ball gown for a LBD party but make sure you are dressed to impress. For a lot of people this is the first time they will interact with their bosses in a social setting. It’s better to make them think you care just as much out of the office as you do in it.

Don’t over indulge

We know as well as anyone that an open bar is like a red flag to a bull. You’re first instinct, much like the start of the Hunger Games, is to charge the bar and get as many drinks in you as is taxonomically possible and be totally belligerently locked within the first 30 minutes of the party. Try to resist. You don’t want to black out and have your co-workers filling you in on the horror of your antics the next morning over the photocopying machine. Pace yourself. Contrary to your hourly salary, the company actually spends money on these things and the booze wont run out!

Try not to commit workcest

You know that cute girl who works in the mail room that you’ve been secretly stalking for the last 6 months. She’s looking fine, but fight the urge and keep it in your pants. Workcest is a huge no no, things will never go back to their easy ways and all of a sudden your report that’s meant to be couriered to Belfast is taking snail mail… through Thailand.

Be social

Realistically you only like a handful of people at your office. Afterall, how many people could you actually connect with who have chosen to do Audits for the rest of their lives? Instead of standing in the corner with your coffee machine pose, try and meet some people. Making friends from other departments can be infinitely tangible when you’re back in the office and need a white paper on tax strategies designed by the geeky looking guy pouring schnapps into the punch bowl.

Don’t get too rowdy

Breaking shit when you’re drunk may seem like a natural instinct, but be sure the future housewives from marketing that organized this event will not appreciate it when you throw a scone through their champagne glass pyramid. Try and restrain yourself from doing anything your mother would back hand you for at a family dinner at your work party.

Buy a round

You’re all on the same wage. You’re all struggling but if your office has decided to plead bankruptcy and you’re all standing around with diet cokes, do the decent thing and buy a round for the group of people you’re standing with. This will usually take a snowball effect and buy the end of the night you’ll be repaid exponentially!