World's Average IQ Drops By About 7 Points Following Stephen Hawking's Death

The world awoke to the news today that perhaps the most celebrated international scientist of modern times, Stephen Hawking, has died at the age of 76.

Hawking, a pioneering theoretical physicist known far-beyond the scientific community for his popular scientific works including the best-selling book, A Brief History Of Time, passed away in his home in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

Tributes have been flooding in from around the world, with thousands of public figures taking to Twitter to pay their respects to a man whose very name became synonymous with intelligence.

The Dalai Lama Tweeted: “A great man who spent his life thinking of the stars has gone to join them. RIP Stephen Hawking.”

Irish TD Michael Healy Rae, said: “Though I may have disagreed with Mr. Hawking on many points; the role of God in the creation of the universe, the evolution of man, the fact that our earth is flat and not as he said round, he was a great man nevertheless. God be with him.”

1999 Chart-topper, Shaggy - aka Mr. Boombastic - shared his thoughts on Mr. Hawking's passing on Twitter, “Major downer hearing about mah boi Hawking, the original Mr. Boombastic. #HawKing.”

Anthropomorphic English bulldog and worshipper of hard-men, Danny Dyer said “Top bloke gone, every time that geezer opened his mouth he blew my nut.”

Indeed, without Mr.Hawking's scintillating wit and obvious enthusiasm for making the most complex of scientific concepts relatable and understandable, the world is undoubtedly a far poorer place.

Speaking to CollegeTimes, Professor Thorncruft, an eminent neurologist and epistemologist, described Stephen Hawking as undoubtedly “the greatest mind in the latter half of the 20th century”.

“His work was revolutionary in so many fields, and, perhaps more importantly he helped bring the joys of science to a generation. Indeed, such is the loss of so bright a star in the mantle of humanity that I feel confident in saying, having run some preliminary tests, that the average global IQ has dropped by approximately seven points following his passing.”

“I think it's fair to say that, naming no names, humanity is rushing into the murky embrace of some second intellectual Dark Age. It's undeniable that we are collectively, staggeringly more stupid without the intellectual ballast of Mr. Hawking's presence helping to keep us afloat. Indeed, I would hazard a guess that our collective intellect is now of a level where it's startling that we are using anything more advanced than tools made from bits of stone and antler. Without him, we are now little smarter than dolphins or very intelligent dogs."

His wisdom and significant contributions to science and society will be sorely missed, especially given that he was reportedly working on a long-anticipated follow-up to the book that first brought him to international renown. The sequel, which was set to provide a comprehensive analysis of underwear through the ages, was tentatively known under its working title A Timely History Of Briefs.

May he rest in peace.