Irritating Questions About The Future & How To Answer Them

Making small talk is the worst. People ask you personal questions about yourself, that most of time, you don't have a flying fuck how to answer. But you have to try your best and be polite and not slap them in the fucking face. What is it with people, especially strangers and distant relations you don't really know that well (I'm looking at you Aunt Mary), that make them think they can question your life plan? Not okay. Here are just some of the most irritating questions that we get asked about our future, and the correct responses to use:

1) "So, what's the plan?"

Response: Excuse me but could you be any fucking more vague? Get out of my face.

2) "What will this degree get you?"

Response: Maybe some manners so I know not to ask these annoying ass questions.

3) "When are you going to find a nice girl/boy and settle down?"

Response: As soon as they come back in stock, they'll e-mail me so I'll let you know when I know.

4) "Are you on the road yet?"

Response: Well, not right now, I'm talking to you amn't I. Oh the joy.

5) "Any plans for after college?"

Response: None that involve you. Bye bye.

6) "Still on the job hunt? Must be tough."

Response: Wow I didn't know it was supposed to be hard to be unemployed. Thanks for the update.

7) "Oh, you're still writing/acting/dancing... How long is that going to last?"

Response: Em, forever? I really have no other answer to that question.

8) "Do you really think a "gap year" is a good idea?"

Response: Did you really think your husband was a good idea?

9) "How long are you going to work in Tesco for?"

Response: Why? Do you want my job?

10) "When are you going to move out?"

Response: When you get out of my face.

11) "So, what are you going to do next year?"

Response: Your mum.